Breathe
by Peetasplaymate
Summary: Mid-Life Bella embarks on a second chance at life, aided by the help of a few friends and a girls night out.
1. Chapter 1

Breathe in.

You can do this.

Exhale.

It's going to be okay. You'll be fine.

Just don't forget to breathe.

A cold sweat breaks out across my forehead and over my upper lip. Seriously! I'm a grown woman. Why does this bother me so much? Why do I care what others think?

I grab a Kleenex and blot my face to keep from ruining my makeup which has been painstakingly applied by Alice. I can only imagine the trouble I'll be in if I show up with my makeup smeared or blotched! It's an unforgiveable sin. Pausing in front of the mirror I run my hands down the sides of my dress and give a little tug pretending I can actually make it longer.

This is what I get for letting Alice take charge. Makeup, short dresses and heels. Completely the opposite of everything I am. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Flip-flops and slides are my go to footwear. I hate shopping, loathe "going out", and am a complete social introvert. The few friends I have are trying to help me overcome these "issues".

I twist my body and look over my shoulder to make sure that the rear view is no less respectable than the front. I'm not used to my legs being so exposed. An errant thought crosses my mind and I ignore it. What's the use? I'll have to trust Alice's sense of fashion over my better judgment tonight. Turning back around, I run my fingertips across the delicate necklace that lies over my collarbone. It's too pretty for me. I can't do it justice.

I inspect my hair. Every strand is strategically coiffed by Alice's arsenal of tools and products. My usual "do" is a ponytail; quick and easy. No way was Alice settling for a ponytail tonight. I can't believe this is really my hair. I've never seen it shine or encompass so much body. She is uber talented, that Alice.

I sigh in resignation and turn away, stopping to grab my clutch on the way out. The taxi is already waiting downstairs. I lock up, toss the key in my clutch, and pray the elevator is empty. Lord knows if my neighbors see me dressed like this I'll never hear the end of it.

Luck is my friend tonight. The elevator is empty and in no time I find myself reluctantly giving the address of tonight's festivities to the cabbie.

I utilize the cab ride to get my bearings, to remind myself to just enjoy the moment. Have fun. I haven't been out just for fun since the late '80's! Tonight is the beginning of a New Me.

I married James right out of high school with stars in my eyes and dreams of the perfect family. We were going to live happily ever after – a beautiful house in suburbia, 2.5 kids, the ideal soccer mom and coach dad. I'm amazed at how long it took me to realize our goals were different.

It turned out that his dream consisted of working up the corporate ladder, doing whatever it took, stepping on whoever was in the way, constantly pushing and probing to get to the top. I got stepped on and left behind as soon as the new red-headed CEO flexed her perfectly manicured fingers and offered him incentives I couldn't compete with.

By the time I figured out what was going on, we had been living separate lives for months. 23 years down the drain. The only good that came out of our union was 3 beautiful children, all of whom made it through the divorce surprisingly intact. I credit myself with that bit of fortune.

My oldest daughter, Bree, is happily married and lives in San Antonio, Texas on the Air Force Base where she and her husband are stationed. Her twin brother, my only son, Riley, is making a name for himself in the lucrative world of finance. Leah, the baby, is a sophomore in college studying marine biology. Hell yes, I'm proud!

It's been a couple of years since the divorce and the girls convinced me that it was time to pick up and move on. It's time to live MY life. Time to do what feels right for ME. So, here I am, all dressed up and careening towards my future. Well, towards Angelo Bella's, a local bistro, where I am going to enjoy my first girl's night out in too many years!

The cabbie pulls to the curb and I pay him. As he pulls away I turn, take a deep breath, and searching for a courage I don't possess, I pull open the heavy wooden door and step across the threshold.

Angelo Bella's is renowned for its world wide collection of fine wines and beers as well as its delectable cuisine. Owned and managed by Eric & Angela Yorkie, whom I have known and loved since high school, it has been dubbed the "heartbeat" of Port Angeles.

Eric earned his degree at the Volturi Institute of Culinary and Pastry Art in Italy while Angela majored in Business and Finance in Seattle. They married as soon as he returned from Italy and used their life savings to open the extremely successful bistro.

From the outside, Angelo Bella's is unassuming, squeezed between a used book store and an herbal restorative emporium in a previously abandoned brick warehouse in downtown.

Inside, aged stone walls rise from intricately tiled floors. Vaulted ceilings drip with iron chandeliers creating a soft ambiance. Marble columns connected by arches surround the central dining room/dance floor. A variety of iron and wood tables and chairs are sprinkled along the perimeter of the room leaving the center open for the live band and dancing.

Private rooms branch off behind the columns, hidden behind massive wooden doors, and can be reserved for more intimate affairs. The bar is breathtaking with its burnished mahogany, marble and mirrors.

I step inside and it feels as though I have been transported to a far away land. It fills me with an air of confidence that I have lacked all day. I lift my chin, throw my shoulders back and stride into the dining hall with a determination I did not know I had within.

My eyes scan the room and Angela catches my eye, waving at me from the other end of the room. She gestures towards my left and I turn and see my girls seated, waiting for me. It appears that I am the last to arrive.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – Thanks for the review love. I can't express how awesome it is to find out that others have read it and want MORE! Don't forget to send me some Chapter 2 lovin'! **** Also – I made a few, small changes to Chapter 1 because after I read what I posted I realized I didn't get across the correct imagery in my mind. Hope you don't mind. It shouldn't change the personality of the chapter at all.**

Typical of a Saturday night, every table in Angelo Bella's is full. I fight an overwhelming wave of self-consciousness, feeling as though every eye in the room is personally inspecting me as I cross the floor.

As if! Get a grip, I chastise myself. Who do I think I am to command such attention? Get real!

Jess is the first to spot my approach. She smiles and waves me over, drawing the attention of the other three beautiful ladies seated around our table. Alice, Lauren and Rose simultaneously glance up as I reach to pull out a chair and toss my clutch on the table. These are my girls, and I wouldn't trade any of them for all the money and prestige in the world! Everyday I am more thankful for these women, for the unbreakable bond of friendship, more indelible than blood, that we share.

"About damn time your ass decides to show up!" Rose quips, enveloping me in a bear hug.

I laugh and hug her back. "I considered not showing, but we all know Alice would hunt me down and drag me kicking and screaming. I figured if I came on my own volition at least I wouldn't mess my hair up."

I pecked each friend on the cheek and we exchanged "Ooohs" and "Ahhhs" about Lauren's new diamond earrings, my barely there dress, and Rose's new gift from Emmett, a pair of orgasm inducing Jimmy Choo heels! Making ourselves comfortable, we chatted amiably, pausing only when Angela asked for our drink orders. She headed off to the bar with a promise to return soon for our food orders.

"So, what's up? How's everyone been? Anything new I should know about?" Smirks, snorts and raised eyebrows convince me that no one's buying my lame attempt to detract the conversation away from me.

"Nice try, babe," laughed Jess. "As if we would let you get away with that! Tonight is all about you! Forks, Port Angeles, Seattle…watch out! You have been officially warned! Hell, we should put all of Washington on alert! Bella Swan is back!"

I roll my eyes and barely contain my grin. "I don't know about all that, but I sure as hell am ready to move on. I'm sick and tired of being alone."

"Speaking of alone, Alice," Rose pipes up with a smirk, gesturing towards the bar, "is that the new bartender who got your number last time we were here? What's his name? Fuck hot boy? No, no…wait, Jasper. Right? How are things progressing between the two of you, anyhow?"

I breathe a sigh of relief at this temporary distraction. I have to give her credit for knowing all to well how to manipulate our pint-sized princess. If I didn't know better I'd swear Alice was blushing. She looks like a kid in a candy store that just found the Golden Ticket! Exhilarated, ecstatic, satisfied and about ready to explode if she doesn't get a chance to dish the goods!

"Oh. My. God." She practically squeals. "You guys have no idea. I shit you not! He's unequivocally divine! That man did the most amazing things to me! Things that should be in the Guinness Book of World Records! I swear I'm in love!"

"Holy shit, Bitch," exclaimed Rose. "I can tell by the look on your face you're in deep. I'd be a little bit jealous except there's no way in hell he came up with anything remotely close to what my Emmett can do! Just sayin'."

Angela arrived and distributed our drinks to a chorus of "More, more" from all of us.

She laughs at our unruly antics. "If I'd have known I was gonna get this good of a response delivering your drinks, I would have brought appetizers, too!"

"Alice was just getting ready to regale us with tales of her exploits with her new conquest, Jasper!" Lauren announced.

"Oh, hell no! Wait until after I take your orders and walk away, please! The last thing I need in my head is visions of Alice exploiting my new bartender! That sure as hell explains his inability to stay focused on the bar since you arrived!" Angela scoffed, wasting no time in taking our orders and getting the hell out of Dodge!

Amid giggles, dreamy sighs and more than a few wistful glances at the bar, Alice proceeds to entertain us with highlights of her sexcapades with Jasper over the last few weeks. Not to be outdone, Rose eagerly engages us with vivid descriptions of Emmett's feats and maneuvers that most women only read about in sordid romance novels.

I am never jealous of the good fortune that befalls my friends. I can think of no one who deserves to find happiness more than Alice. However, sitting back listening to her epic tales of erotic endurance along with Rose's sultry frolics leaves me feeling hollow and empty. Sad, almost. An unexpected longing for someone to desire me the way she describes Jasper's passionate advances constricts around my heart leaving me breathless and cold. I struggle to regain my composure before anyone notices my lack of enthusiastic repartee. I plaster a smile on my face, hoping and praying it looks sincere.

Fortunately, Angela arrives with our food distracting everyone with sumptuous aromas wafting from delectable platters of creamy pastas, seasoned vegetables grilled to perfection and steamy, hot out of the oven bread. I'm pretty sure I gained five pounds just thinking about eating it. After glancing to see who needs refreshed drinks, she retreats back to the kitchen.

The center of the dance floor contains a large, circular podium reserved for musicians and their miscellaneous array of instruments and equipment. Weeknights cater to a more refined clique of business men and women, pillars of the community and intimate tête-à-tête's. Typically you will find a classic orchestra from one of the local community colleges catering to this more sophisticated audience.

Weekends, on the other hand, cultivate an entirely different breed of clientele, and therefore an entirely different brand of musicians. Classic rock, soft rock, R&B, jazz and pop are just a few of the euphonies that cater to the younger, livelier breed that never fail to pack out the house. Our coterie is included in this lot, as we still enjoy kicking back and rocking out occasionally.

Tonight is no exception. Nibbling the remnants of our delectable feast and contemplating whether or not there is room for dessert, we watch as tonight's gig makes its way to center stage and begins the tedious task of tuning instruments and checking sound.

Eric & Angela prefer to promote local up and coming artists. It's not uncommon to spot talent scouts on any given weekend. More than one band owes their fast track to fame to Angelo Bella's. There is never a dull night here; they never miss an opportunity to step up the talent.

My attention is unexpectedly captured by an unruly head of copper-colored hair bent over what appears to be an amplifier. Mr. Copper stands, displaying a black t-shirt stretched across wide, taut shoulders and jeans that snugly accentuate long, muscular legs and a tight ass. He turns and glances up, looking straight at me. Stunning emerald eyes pierce mine, sending a jolt of red-hot lust straight to my belly as every bone in my body is engulfed in flames.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews so far. Don't stop now! I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing my email pop up with "new review" or "new follower"! Woo-Hoo! You guys rock! This chapter includes a little flash back…I hope it reads easily enough. Enjoy!**

A trembly sigh escapes my lips as his arms tighten around me. I want to be frozen in this moment, forever tangled up and twisted together with him. His fingertips glide up and down my spine igniting a flame that has been threatening to engulf me all night. My cheek rests on his chest as I listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

He is the first to break the silence.

"Don't go."

_Okay._ "I have to."

I don't want the perfection of this moment to end.

"Stay with me," he whispers into my ear, his breath sending shivers across my skin and coils of passion straight between my legs.

_That's all I've ever wanted. _"I can't. You know that."

"I'll take care of you. You don't need him."

I can feel the edge of frustration in his voice. My arms reach up and encircle his neck as I bury my face into his shoulder.

_I know! _"I have to do this. If I don't, how will you ever trust me? If I don't give everything I've got to make it work, how will you know I'll give everything to you?"

Tears gather at the edges of my lashes and threaten to spill over. I wrap myself tighter around him.

"Don't cry. Damn! I hate making you cry. I only want you to be happy."

_Then make me stay. Don't let me be the martyr I need to be. _"I'm sorry. So, so sorry!"

I look up into his eyes and see nothing but pain. My heart is shattering and I can't breathe.

"You know I'll always be here. Right here. When you're ready, I'll still be waiting."

_I love you so much! I'd rather die than leave you! _"Don't wait for me. I'm not worth it. Somewhere out there is a girl who will love you and give you everything I can't. Go find her and be happy. Please."

In reply, he rolls us both until his warm, heavy body lays over me. Nestled between my legs, he nudges the tip of his shaft against my wet, hot center. Eyes wide open, he kisses me, softly, and I let him. Panic and urgency flash across his eyes before he can close them, and he deepens the kiss until it's delicious and hard. I pour all the longing and yearning in my heart back into this embrace. Slowly he enters me until there is nothing between us. We are one. He fills me completely. He is my perfect match.

I let him make love to me this one last time because I am a selfish bitch and I don't deserve him, but I want him. Oh god, I want him. I memorize every inch of him, every give, every take. I listen with rapture to each moan and breath that escapes from him. I will myself to feel the weight of his body over me, the slide of his skin against mine. I inhale the essence that is all him, pure, raw, male.

I can't stop the tears any more than I can stop my body's response to his touch. I should not be here, but I had to come. I couldn't stay away. I bury myself underneath his skin so that I'll always be with him, where ever he may go. I imprint myself upon his soul so deep that no other woman will ever compare. My hands, mouth and eyes continually roam over his body, memorizing every line, every curve, every crease. I gladly meet each thrust, every spark of passion more consuming than the one before. I feel the burn of the flame that begins to overtake my body and I welcome it as it consumes me. He spills into me with a cry of anguish, cursing that it's over too soon.

And still, I walked away.

"Bella!"

"Hello! Earth to Bella!"

"Bella, honey, are you okay? Sweetie? You're white as a ghost."

Startled, I catch my breath and glance around at the worry and concern mirrored in each face looking back at me. I'm having a hard time shaking off the memory. It was so damn real.

I'm so fucked up! That was so long ago! Where the hell did that come from? Shit! I can't think straight and the tension between my shoulders is tighter than a coat three sizes too small.

"Angela! Can we get another round of drinks here? Someone fucking find Angela!"

I hear the concern in Rose's voice as Alice flits off toward the bar to find Angela.

"I'm fine! Really, I'm fine. I'll be okay. Just give me a minute. Sorry."

"What the hell just happened?" Jess demands.

"It's him! I knew this would happen! I fucking TOLD Alice this would happen!" Rose's voice gets louder with each statement.

"We shouldn't have made her come tonight." I barely hear Lauren through all the chaos in my head.

Alice returns dragging a flustered Angela behind her with a tray full of drinks. She pushes one into my hand encouraging me to sip it slowly while Angela sets the rest of the drinks on the table. Looking at Rose, she quips, "It has to happen this way! You know what I saw! I told you she needs to be here tonight. It's her destiny!"

My hand shakes and my drink sloshes over onto my lap. "Shit, damn, shit! Fucking shit!"

I grab a napkin off the table and blot at my skirt praying it'll dry out without staining.

"What the hell do you mean, my destiny? How the hell did you know he would be here tonight and why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I'm pissed and I want them to know I'm pissed.

"Bella, honey, you know how I am, how I see things most people can't see. I saw him here tonight. Sweetie, you had to be here – it was part of the vision. He needs to see you, too. If I would have told you all of this earlier you never would have agreed to come. I couldn't say anything! I'm sorry! You know I would never hurt you or let anyone else hurt you, but it's time to let go of what could have been and look forward to what can be."

I'm still reeling. Sensory overload or some shit like that. Damn. I can't even stay mad at her because of all the fucking endorphins floating around in my body like some damn virus!

I remind myself to breath. Deep breaths. Lots of deep breaths. And I begin to calm down. And I allow myself to remember.

Masen. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. But to me he always was and always will be just Masen.

I haven't allowed myself to think of him or breathe his name since I consciously walked away all those years ago. Bittersweet memories flash through my head like flashcards, one after another after another. Masen.

He looks exactly the same, only older. And bigger. And taller. And broader. And…hell, yes…sexier. Damn him!

I'll never forget those eyes. Never.

And then it hits me like a ton of bricks…what if he didn't recognize me? Shit!

What if he did?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**A/N: I know, I know – you wanna know the PAST! And it's as delectable as the future, so we'll have to take it slowly…not sure we'll be able to handle it all at one time. I will try to answer all the questions – what happened, why she left, why he let her, where's he been, etc…. If I leave anything out – let me know! This one chapter will NOT address most of that, but I do promise to dish out the details soon! PROMISE! Stay with me for the ride! This chapter is long, but so much needed to be said. Love you guys!**

By the time we finish our drinks, I have calmed down considerably. I give myself a shake realizing he probably didn't recognize me. After all, it has been 25 years and I've changed so much since that long, lazy afternoon in his arms. Age and childbirth have taken their toll on my body, rounding out angles and softening them into womanly curves which James disparagingly referred to as pudge. Fuck him. What the hell does he know anyway? If he wants to cuddle up to some skanky, flat assed, sack of bones hag, that's his problem, not mine.

Lauren looks at me, concern clouding her usually serene blue eyes. "You okay, babe?"

I must have really given them a scare with my melodramatic, albeit temporary, disconnect from reality. I shrug off the last remaining remnants of shock, and with a nod I extend her a small smile. "Yeah. I'm good. Really. It just was such a shock, seeing him like that after all this time."

"C'mon, then. Let's fucking dance! We came here to have fun, damn it, and I'm gonna make sure we have a fuckton of down and dirty fun!" Rose grabs me by the hand with a loud "WOO-HOO" and a fist pump, signaling for everyone else to follow.

And in that one gesture I am reminded why these women are my friends. I can't fathom why I've been reluctant to spend more time with them. They have been my life line for the last 2 years. Who the hell am I kidding? We've been through too many high school scrapes, college escapades, kicked the asses of more than one self indulgent man and skank-ho bitch, cried on each others shoulders, downed enough bottles of wine to fill the cellar of any self respecting winery, and shared more secrets than the KGB, FBI and CIA combined. They are an integral part of who I am. Life line…pssshhh! We're sisters!

The band is playing "Rest of My Life" and it's just the pick me up I need. We prance out onto the dance floor like a gaggle of half sloshed teenagers, laughing and shouting so loudly we can be heard over the music. Arms in the air, head thrown back, feet skipping, and all the while my heart gets lighter and lighter. I take this chance to behold each of them and this only makes me laugh harder.

Lauren is twirling around in circles while Alice is emitting more energy than the A-Bomb. Rose and Jess are bumping and grinding, causing a man jam to form around us. I can't remember the last time we were all together like this and I want this moment, this feeling, to never end.

"Love in this Club" fills the air and there is a perceptible shift in the mood. Rose and Jess kick it up a notch and Alice begins flitting around them, giving the aura of an enchantress weaving her charms. Lauren and I just smirk at each other, satisfied to sit back and watch the spell they cast upon the poor, unsuspecting men around them. They emit an ethereal beauty not unlike a spider spinning her web. It's almost comical to see the slack-jawed, glassy eyed gazes on the faces of the men watching them. They are so stunning that, without a doubt, even some of the women are questioning their sexuality.

Two large hands capture my hips from behind, startling me and causing me to yelp. A wall of solid heat presses against my back and even with the years between us, I immediately recognize who my captor is.

"Damn fools! Any man that can't see you're the most beautiful woman here must be blind and doesn't deserve to be called a man anyway."

My heart skips a couple of beats and I feel my belly coil in an uncontrollable response to the husky voice I never dreamed I'd hear again. I try to turn to face him, but those powerful hands grip me tighter, interfering with my will.

"Don't," he pleads. "Not yet. I just want to savor this moment a little longer." His cheek rests against my hair causing his breath to skim over my ear and down my neck blazing a trail along my skin.

I not only hear his soft moan, I can feel it vibrate against my spine. Liquid heat pools between my legs and my heart beats so hard I think I will faint. I didn't realize some of those parts were still in working condition! I'm certain there will be bruises on my hips tomorrow. He must have read my mind because I feel his fingers gently caress where only seconds before they held me so firm. I close my eyes and relax against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I don't know where this sudden flicker of impetuous wantonness came from, but I can't summon the strength to fight it.

He moves me with him to the beat of the music pounding around us. I've never danced like this before, never had a chance, and never had anyone show any interest. I am mesmerized as one hand moves to my abdomen while the other drifts up my arm, over my shoulder, gently tugging my hair back off of my neck leaving chill bumps in its wake. He inhales as his nose glides along the top of my shoulder, stopping at the base of my neck to plant the softest of kisses.

My eyes roll back in my head. I swear every bone in my body liquefied in that one moment, leaving me nothing more than a mass of quivering lust. Every drop of blood in my body wants to rip his clothes off and have my way with him right here on the floor, crowd be damned! I've never been a believer in spontaneous combustion before, but he made me a convert.

"Masen," I whisper, embarrassed that I seem to have lost my ability to speak in a normal tone of voice.

"Shhh. I asked you to give me this moment. Patience was never your virtue, but I thought you would've mastered it by now."

I feel his smug smile against my cheek. Damn man! I bite back a retort and humor him with my silence as he lulls me back with his seductive dance.

Eventually the song ends and I reluctantly allow him to step back as I turn to face him. Gazing into those soulful eyes, I am reminded of why I loved this man so much. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. His is the most beautiful soul I've ever known.

A familiar song is playing and I blush, dipping my head and casting my eyes to the floor.

"No need to hide. You always were so damn stunning when you blushed." Placing his finger beneath my chin, he lifts my face until he can look into my eyes again.

"May I have this dance?"

Unable to speak or look away, I nod my head in acquiescence and he pulls me towards him, wrapping one arm around my waist as the other grasps mine, holding it against his chest.

_Strumming my pain with his fingers_

Oh, god, the memory of those fingers.

_Singing my life with his words  
__killing me softly__ with his song_

Our song.

_Killing me softly with his song_

So damn softly.

_Telling my whole life with his words  
killing me softly with his song_

He bends his head and murmurs into my ear, "I've missed you."

I can't breathe.

_I heard he sang a good song  
I heard he had a style_

A style that was permanently imprinted on my body.

_And so I came to see him  
to listen for a while_

I would never tire of watching those lips, hearing that voice.

_And there he was this young boy  
a stranger to my eyes_

It had been so long. In his eyes I could see the man in my memories, and yet he had changed so much.

"I've missed you, too."

The emotion is so overwhelming I feel naked, exposed. I raise my hands to his shoulders and clasp them behind his neck, laying my face against his chest.

_I felt all flushed with fever  
Embarrassed by the crowd_

To hell with the damn crowd.

_I felt he found my letters  
and read each one out loud_

It's as though he's always known my most intimate thoughts.

_I prayed that he would __finish__  
but he just kept right on_

_Strumming my pain with his fingers  
singing my life with his words_

Breathing new life into me.

_Killing me softly with his song  
killing me softly with his song  
telling my whole life with his words_

Please, God, let his words tell the story how it should be.

_Killing me softly with his song_

I close my eyes and give over to the fervency of the moment. I will myself to stop fighting the response my body has to him. I want to just be. With him. Here. Now.

_He sang as if he knew me  
in all my dark despair_

He hums the melody in my ear. My body is on fire.

_And then he looked right through me  
As if I wasn't there_

They got it wrong…he's not looking through me…he can see through me.

_And he just kept on singing  
singing clear and strong_

_Strumming my pain with his fingers  
singing my life with his words  
killing me softly with his song  
killing me softly with his song  
telling my whole life with his words  
killing me softly with his song_

I don't even realize that we aren't dancing. Just listening. Feeling. Staring.

"Breathe, Bella."

With his soft words, he gently coaxes me back to reality. Where did all these people come from? I forgot we aren't alone. How the hell does he still have this effect on me?

Taking my hand, he guides me back to my table and pulls out a chair for me. Always the gentleman, he makes sure I am comfortable before he takes a seat in the chair next to mine. Noticing the table is vacant, I glance around trying to find the girls.

Drop It Like It's Hot" blares from center stage. Emmett has made an appearance tonight and is practically molesting Rose on the middle of the dance floor. Not that she's complaining. Jess is sidled up to, or I should say straddled up to, Mike, her BFF with benefits. My guess is that someone let the cat out of the bag about where we would be spending our evening out.

Lauren is getting familiar with a tall, muscular chap with sun kissed skin and spiky, jet black hair and Alice is easy to spot taking up space at the bar, bedazzling her favorite mixologist.

The intensity of the past half hour or so is ebbing, allowing my heart rate to slow. The man of my dreams is sitting next to me! I can barely comprehend that he's real. I reach my hand up and cup the side of his face, my eyes follow my fingers as I drag them along his jaw line and rub the pad of my thumb across his bottom lip. He clears his throat, breaking my trance, and I am distracted by his Adams Apple bobbing as he swallows. Sexy as hell. I want to lick his throat. I feel the heat of my blush as it flashes across my cheeks and travels south.

"Simply delectable, that blush of yours." He smiles against my fingers. I let my hand fall to my lap, cringing on the inside that he still makes me feel like a silly, giddy girl.

"You can stop making fun of me now," I admonish.

"Oh, believe me. I'm not making fun. That blush and I have many wonderful memories together. Many."

I almost kiss the smirk right off of his face. Almost. An infinitesimal thread of common sense reins me in at the last moment before I make a fool of myself.

He glances around before looking back at me and asks, "Would you like to go somewhere more private? Maybe get some coffee? Do you think your friends would mind?"

My head takes over as my heart seems to have taken flight at the implication of being somewhere "private" with him. I'm in pretty bad shape here. "Yes! Sounds great. I'm sure they won't mind at all. Just give me a minute to take care of my tab and I'll be ready to go."

I rush to grab my clutch and dash towards the bar, leaving enough money with Alice to more than cover my expenses and a generous tip for Ang. I briefly explain where I'm going and who I'm with just so she won't be beating on my door at 2 in the morning wondering what the hell happened to me. She giggles. I can't miss the glimmer in her eye and the big assed, all-knowing smile she beams at me. We're gonna have to have a more in depth talk about her "visions" and my "destiny" real soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A/N – okay you guys – let me know how you like it so far! Send me some review love. I realize it's my story – but I can use the critique! Either way it's good for my ego! I hope this chapter answers some of the questions you had. I apologize for how long it is, but this story just keeps getting bigger and bigger…**

Waiting just inside the door while he collects his car from the parking garage, I pace nervously back and forth. He's only been gone a minute or so, but it's long enough for a tidal wave of doubt and insecurity to pulverize my self esteem.

What the hell am I doing? I've officially lost my fucking mind! What 43 year old woman in her right mind leaves a bar with a stranger? _It's not a bar and technically he's not a stranger. _Semantics. He might as well be. I haven't seen him in 25 years! He could be a serial killer for all I know! Or worse, MARRIED! _You know him better than that! Quit fretting. Remember Alice. _Alice! Of course. Well, maybe it's okay then. She knows who I'll be with and she's already "seen" us together tonight. If she would have seen anything wrong, she would have told me. _Yes, she would have. Now quit worrying and get your uptight ass out there – he's waiting on you!_

Kaleidoscopes of lights flicker across the beveled panes on either side of the door. Taking a deep breath I push the door open, walk through, and stop dead in my tracks.

Idling in the street before me is one of the hottest cars I've ever seen. I walk up to it and slide my fingertips across the sleek, lustrous curve of the fender. I've never been an automobile aficionado, but even I can appreciate fine craftsmanship when I see it. And this car is most definitely fine. It's the epitome of sex on wheels.

Masen walks around and opens the passenger door for me. A shiver of anticipation hangs in the air between us.

"Like what you see?"

I gaze at him, from each lock of his disheveled hair all the way down to the laces on his brown leather Fabiano Ricci shoes, and then glance back at the car and nod.

"Yeah, I do." My mouth is suddenly dryer than the Sahara Desert. "What is she?"

Smirking, he leans against the side of the door and strokes his long fingers across it. It's apparent how much he loves this car by the tender way he caresses it.

"She's an Aston Martin V12 Vantage Roadster. I bought her new, special order, and had her shipped to me directly from the manufacturer. No way in hell was I letting another man touch her. She's mine. She was made for me."

The innuendo stings minutely, yet the possessive tone in which he refers to his car along with the gentle way he handles it makes my knees weak and I find it hard to maintain my focus. She really is a beauty. Not quite midnight black, but darker than gray, she is the color of a thunderstorm right before the rain. Sleek and powerful, she is indicative of the man standing beside me.

He takes my hand and gently guides me into the passenger seat. He quietly closes the door and I allow myself this moment to take it all in. The buttery softness of the supple black leather against my skin feels divine. The hushed purr of the engine is both soothing and sensuous. Tranquil blue lights emitting from a myriad of glass buttons create a peaceful ambience. I savor the fragrance of new leather and Masen merged together; it's heady, sensual. Carnal. I can almost taste it.

Masen stations himself behind the wheel and glances over at me.

"Anywhere in particular you have in mind? I was thinking Sadie's Coffee Shop, but I'm open to anything."

"Sadie's is good. I like Sadie's."

"Okay, then." One side of his mouth lifts in that sexy half smile of his that I remember so vividly. "Sadie's it is."

The radio plays softly in the background and for a while I am content to sit quietly. After several minutes of self-deprecating introspect, nervous energy obliterates the feeble restraint I have on my mouth.

"So, what made you buy this car? I mean, why the Vantage? What made you pick this car over all the others you could have had?"

He looks at me briefly, taking a minute to answer.

"You really want to know?"

I nod, afraid to open my mouth and subject him to the verbose nonsense threatening to spew forth.

Focusing intently on the road ahead, his chest rises and he exhales sharply through his nose. "Ok. I'll tell you. Don't judge. From the first moment I laid eyes on a Vantage I knew I had to have my own. It was love at first sight. She's fast, seductive, and sexy as hell. She is soft and delicate on the inside; tenacious and resilient on the outside. I relish the feel of her moving underneath me; it makes my blood race through my veins. One touch from me yields immediate submission from her. She's gratifying. Effortless. She is the epitome of a lady. She makes me look good and feel like a fucking god. When I'm inside her, I feel like I can conquer the world. What more could a man ask for? That, my dear Bella, is why I own a Vantage."

Somewhere around "soft and delicate" I lose the ability to speak. At "immediate submission" I am unable to look away from him. By the time he finishes talking all I can do is swallow. Hard. My heart is pounding so fierce I'm certain he can hear it in the infinite silence that permeates the space around us. I'm pretty sure my mouth is hanging open and I think I'm supposed to close it, but I can't remember why.

"Breathe, Bella." He has the audacity to chuckle.

Damn him! I want to lick the smug smirk right off of his breathtakingly handsome face. I walked right into that! Shit! He's good.

Fortunately, he pulls into the parking lot at Sadie's and parks. I busy myself trying to collect my thoughts when I notice my door is open and he is patiently waiting, hand extended, for me to step out.

Tentatively, I place each foot firmly on solid ground and take his hand to pull myself up and out of the car. He pulls a bit harder than necessary, causing me to stumble into him. I grab his arms for balance and he wraps his hands around my waist.

I look up at him apologetically and can feel the blush burning just under my skin.

I lick my lips. "Sorry."

He stares at me with those mesmerizing emerald eyes and leans towards me, grazing the tip of his nose along mine.

"Don't be."

Just when I think he's going to kiss me, he steps back, releasing my waist, placing his hand at the small of my back.

"I don't know about you, but I could use a strong cup of coffee right about now."

Coffee wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but who the hell was I to argue. I let him lead me into the coffee house and wait as he asks for a table for 2, preferably somewhere quiet.

The hostess leads us to a secluded spot near the back of the restaurant and Masen requests a full pot of coffee, two cups, and lots of sugar and cream.

She leaves to fill our order as he sits across from me in the tiny booth. He rests against the back of the booth and stretches his long legs out on either side of my feet. It takes every ounce of strength I have stop myself from running my foot along one of those damn legs. Instead, I lean against the table, prop up on my elbows and proceed to annihilate an unsuspecting napkin.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really. Thanks, though."

"Okay. Me neither. If you change your mind, let me know."

I nod, suddenly shy and unsure of myself. He seems so calm and confident while I sit here wracked with nerves praying to the powers that be that he doesn't notice.

I glance up to discover him watching me and am unable to look away. I don't want to. I study his face trying to match it with the one from my past. In so many ways it's the same, but time has etched feathery lines around his eyes, mouth and across his forehead. Those lines tell me about laughter, disappointment, and heartache. They show strength, courage and perseverance. The man I knew would have lived his life boldly, fearlessly, and passionately. This mans face shows that he has.

The waitress fills 2 cups with coffee before setting the pot on the table along with our tab. She asks if there's anything else we need, shuffling away when we both shake our heads no.

After stirring in two packets of sweetener and one of creamer, I set my spoon down. I can't take the silence anymore. I need to hear his voice.

"Say something."

He reaches across the table and takes one of my hands in his. His thumb strokes across my fingers sending sparks along my skin.

"There's so much to say, so much I want to ask, and I hardly know where to begin. I mean, I know some things about you. I've kept in touch with Alice and Emmett and they told me things through the years."

I take a sip of the dark, sweet brew, enjoying the warmth as it travels down my throat.

"Then you have the advantage. I haven't allowed anyone to so much as speak your name since I married James." He flinches and instantly I regret how that came across. I tighten my fingers around his hand. "Not because I didn't want to know, but because even the mention of your name threatened to crack the fragile shell I had built my life upon."

His face is expressionless and this frustrates me. I hate that after all I've done to him in the past, I can still hurt him. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"I want to know more. I want to know how you are right now. Did he treat you well? Did he hurt you? Are you happy? What are your plans for your future?"

"That's all?" I smile teasingly at him.

"No. But it's a start." His face is so serious. My hand itches to stroke his cheek but I refrain.

"Okay. Well, right now I'm doing well. My children are happy and healthy. I have a career I love. Alice and the girls try to keep me sane." I pause to regroup. "As far as my ex goes, he treated me fine most of the time. He never hurt me. Not really. Just my pride. Am I happy? Yes, pretty much. As far as the future goes, right now I'm taking one day at a time. I have hopes and dreams like anyone else, but I'm satisfied for now to just enjoy each moment."

"Do you have any regrets?"

I look down, unable to hold his intense gaze.

"Yes. I have regrets."

"Tell me about them."

I sigh. "Why? You know it won't change anything. I can't go back and make anything different or better."

"I just want to hear you say it."

"Fine." I refill my cup and reach for the sweetener. "I regret walking away from the best thing I ever had. I regret not calling off the wedding even though I knew it was a mistake." Tears settle in the corners of my eyes. "I regret that I didn't have the strength to stand up to everyone and choose you. There. Happy now?"

"Shit." He stands and squeezes in next to me, wrapping his arms around me and laying my head on his shoulder. "Don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry. I'm sorry for being such a prick and asking. It's selfish of me."

"Masen, you are the single most unselfish man I have ever known. You have the right to ask. I gave you permission to ask whatever you wanted. I have things I want to know, too."

"Like what?"

"I want to know what you did after I left. Did you ever fall in love? Did you marry? Did you have a family? What have you been doing all these years?"

His laugh is muffled by my hair.

"That's all?"

"Nope," I mimic, "but it's a start."

"All right, then. You asked for it. I hope you don't regret this."

I look up into his eyes to let him see how much I need to hear what he has to say, how important this is to me.

"When you left I was in pretty bad shape. I was angry. Hell, I was pissed. If I couldn't have you for myself, then I sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and watch you grow old with that piss ant fucker. I joined the military and asked to be stationed in any war zone needing a few good men. The more dangerous the location, the happier I was."

He shifts next to me to get more comfortable. He props his feet up on the booth where he sat moments ago.

"I met a beautiful woman while I was stationed overseas. Tamara was good to me and it was easy to make her happy. We married and a year later she gave me a beautiful daughter. Ashlyn was 10 when Tamara was diagnosed with breast cancer. God gave us 2 wonderful years before she lost the fight. As soon as I could, I got my discharge papers and brought Ashlyn to the states. We settled in Chicago so I could pursue my photography. I was so used to the addiction of living on the edge of danger; it didn't take long for me to get bored. As soon as Ashlyn started college, I began travelling the world in search of anything that would give me the edge I needed to carve my name into the cut throat world of photography."

"And now?"

"I've seen a lot of stuff. A lot of beauty and a hell of a lot of chaos. There are some things I've seen I'll never forget. But now I'm tired of the fight. I still love to travel, but I need to slow down and do what makes me feel like I've made the world a better place. I don't want to find myself a shriveled up old man bitter and full of anger and hate. I need new perspective. And I need to be closer to Ashlyn. She transferred to Seattle so I could be closer to my parents."

"How is Carlisle and Esme?"

"They are doing well, still young at heart. They still live in my childhood home. I'm sure they'll be there until they pass on. You want some more coffee?"

I shake my head no. "Two cups is my limit if I don't want to be up all night."

He laughs. "Ready to go?"

I nod and slide out of the booth. He leaves enough cash on the table to cover the tab and takes my hand in his as we walk out to the car.

I check my watch, surprised to see that it's almost one a.m.

"May I drive you home?" Masen asks as he tucks me back into the Vantage.

"That would be nice, if it's not out of your way or too much trouble."

"I can think of nothing I'd rather do right now than spend a few more minutes with you. Driving you home will be the perfect excuse I need."

Smiling, he closes my door, walks around and settles himself behind the wheel.

I give him my address and before I know it we are pulling up to the curb. He puts the car in park and cuts the engine.

"Would you be offended if I asked to walk you to your door?"

My mind is travelling a million miles per hour and my heart rate speeds up.

"I won't come in. I'll just sleep better knowing you made it safe and sound."

"Sure. That'd be nice."

I study him as he walks around the car and opens my door, helping me to my feet more gently this time than the last. We step inside the foyer and walk soundlessly to the elevator. The ride up is quiet, too. I can't seem to think of anything appropriate to say. All too soon we reach my floor and the doors open. Resting his hand at the small of my back, he follows me quietly to the door.

I open my clutch and take out my key, inserting it into the door and turning, the click as it unlocks breaking the silence. I turn towards him.

"Thank you. Tonight was one of the best nights I've had in a long time. Seeing you was an unexpected treat."

"May I call you? I'd like to see you again. Soon."

A swell of pleasure washes over me as I watch him save my number on his phone.

Putting his phone away, his expression is primitive. Full of hunger. His hand cups the side of my face and I lean into it, never moving my eyes from his.

"I want to kiss you so damn bad." His voice is low, husky, and stirs desires I haven't felt in ages.

"Please." My voice comes out in a whisper, begging, laden with yearning and heat.

He wraps his arm around my waist pulling me close to him. With his other hand he tilts my chin up until I am staring into deep emerald pools. He leans in and gently brushes his lips over mine. A soft moan escapes as my body responds to him. I raise my hands, capturing those soft, copper strands between my fingers and hold on tight.

Leisurely he trails his tongue across my lower lip, silently requesting access. I don't think I'll ever be able to deny this man anything ever again. I open my mouth to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss, his tongue strokes and dances with mine. One large hand holds me tightly against him as the other grazes lightly up and down my spine, eliciting flickers of untamed passion within me.

"Masen."

He growls and settles my back against the wall, pressing his entire length against me. He is hard and soft all at the same time. My memories feed the inferno that promises to devour me.

I press my hands against his chest and turn my head to the side in an effort to make him hear me.

"Masen!"

Hot, wet kisses slowly trail across my cheek and down my neck as he grinds against me one last time. Oh, god, I don't really want to stop him, but I have to. Taking his face in between my hands, I force him to look at me. He is ravishing. Truly the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. His eyes are glazed, his lips wet and his chest heaves as he tries to collect himself.

"Damn! I'm sorry." He rests his forehead against mine, inhaling deeply. "I didn't mean for that to happen. You just feel so damn good! It's been so long since I've touched you or tasted you, I lost myself."

I smile. "You have nothing to be sorry for. That was…amazing. Better than amazing. It's just that we're out here in the hallway for all the world to see. And as good as it feels this isn't the right time."

"I know, I know. You're right. I'm gonna try to be a good boy and go home now."

"That's better." I smirk at him as he leans down to place one last kiss to my forehead before stepping back.

"Get yourself inside before I get started again. You might not be able to stop me next time, neighbors or no neighbors."

I can't help the flash of desire that spreads across my belly. I quickly walk into my home, close and lock the door, and lean against it to catch my breath. It's going to be one hell of a long night tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N – I apologize for the tardiness of this chapter. I had a family emergency and have been out of touch with the rest of the world for the last week. I hope you enjoy this chapter as thoroughly as I have enjoyed writing it. **_

_I was dreamin' when I wrote this_

_So sue me if I go to fast_

_But life is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last_

_War is all around us, my mind says prepare to fight_

_So if I gotta die I'm gonna listen to my body tonight_

_Yeah, they say two thousand zero zero party over,_

_Oops out of time_

_So tonight I'm gonna party like its 1999_

_Yeah_

Warm rays of sunshine stream through my bedroom window, transforming ordinary dust particles into shimmery sparkles. My hair thrown into a ponytail, arrayed in my favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt and cut-offs, I feel rested, energetic and unusually optimistic. Brandishing a duster for a royal scepter, I crown myself the Queen of Clean, determined to banish every speck of grime in my tiny kingdom.

_Goddess on the mountain top_

_Burning like a silver flame_

_The summit of beauty and love_

_And Venus was her name_

_She's got it_

_Yeah, baby, she's got it_

_I'm your Venus, I'm your fire_

_At your desire_

_Well, I'm your Venus, I'm your fire_

_At your desire_

Sliding across the kitchen tile in socks, rendering my own version of Tom Cruise in Risky Business, the microfiber mop and I totally rock out! Music blares from the speakers, every window is thrown wide open, and I can't remember ever being so full of life, so alive. Jack, my Wheaton Terrier, cocks an eyebrow disdainfully at me before stretching and trotting off to find somewhere quiet to nap. The buzz on the dryer screams down the hall, reminding me to change the load. Grabbing sheets out and tossing the towels in, I reset the timer and skip down the hall to make the bed.

_The phone rings in the middle of the night_

_My father yells what you gonna do with your life_

_Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one_

_But girls they want to have fun_

_Oh girls just want to have—_

_That's all they really want_

_Some fun_

_When the working day is done_

_Girls- they want to have fun_

_Oh girls just want to have fun_

_Some boys take a beautiful girl_

_And hide her away from the rest of the world_

_I want to be the one to walk in the sun_

_Oh girls they want to have fun_

_Oh girls just want to have fun_

Fluffing the pillows I give in to the urge to nuzzle against them, inhaling the scent of fresh lavender. Setting them down on the bed, I glance at the clock and ascertain that there is just enough time to shower and freshen up before time to meet the girls for lunch. After a speedy shower I wrap my hair in a towel and peruse the closet trying to decide what to wear. Jack is curled up at the foot of my bed. My cell phone rings, startling us both, and I practically trip over my own feet in my hurry to answer before the voicemail picks up.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

It takes a nanosecond for my body to respond to the caller's voice as my heart rate accelerates and I get that feeling like I just missed the last step on a ladder. Adrenaline rush, maybe? Tap dancing in a circle, trying to contain the squeal; I take a deep breath, "Masen?"

"Hey." I hear him chuckle softly and he sounds, oh, I don't know…nervous, perhaps, although I can't fathom why. "I wasn't expecting you to answer and I was set to leave you a message."

"Oh, well. Sorry about that. Would you like me to hang up so you can call back? I won't answer so you can leave your message?" Where the hell did that come from? Fifth grade?

He laughs. "No, no. I'm good. I believe I mentioned last night that I wanted to see you again and I was just wondering if you were free later this evening."

"Um, well, I'm meeting the girls in a few minutes for lunch, but I'll be back around threeish and I have no other plans." I'm having difficulty being articulate as there seems to be some disconnect between my mouth and my brain. I sound desperate and boring as hell.

"May I pick you up around, say, three thirty? Is that too soon?"

"Three thirty? No. That's not too soon...I mean, that's fine. What do you have in mind?"

"I thought we could visit the City Pier in downtown Port Angeles, maybe walk on the beach or climb the tower, ride the ferry to Victoria…you know, act like a couple of teenagers. If you like, we could stop and grab a bite in Victoria."

"That sounds nice. Fun. I'd love it."

"Great. Then I'll be up to get you at three thirty. Wear comfortable shoes and you might want to bring a light jacket. It can get cool in the evenings."

"I will. I'll see you then. Bye."

"Bye, Bella."

I toss the phone onto the bed and proceed to dance around my bedroom like a crazy woman, flailing my arms about, shaking my bootie, leaping around. Jack starts barking, trying to keep up with me. "Woo-hoo! Jack, I have a date! Aaauuuugggghhh! I have a date! With Masen Cullen!" I fall across the bed, prostrate, and cover my face with my hands. "OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD! I have a fucking DATE with Masen Cullen!"

Knowing I won't have time to change between lunch and my date with Masen, I debate with myself about what to wear. Nothing too dressy, we might ride the ferry and walk on the beach. I don't want to wear something too short and look easy. Nothing too casual, either. I don't want him to think I'm frumpy and don't care. Damn men! I bet they don't have the problems women do when it comes to picking out clothes!

I pull on a pair of mid-length black shorts and a coral pink camisole layered with an oversized white shirt. Leaving it unbuttoned, I cinch the waist with an oversized black belt and slip on a pair of white gladiator thong sandals with a flat heel, adding a pair of circle drop earrings and a trio of bangles to match. Keeping my hair down, I slip a rubber band into my purse, just in case. Blowing Jack a kiss, I head out, locking the door behind.

Since the café is just a few blocks away, and the weather is perfect, I decide to walk. Two years ago I wouldn't dare to venture outside other than to hop into a waiting cab. In an effort to boost our economy and draw prospective residents, the city invested a lot of time and resources renovating our neighborhood to make it safer and give it more curb appeal. Quaint brick sidewalks are now dotted with retro-inspired iron street lamps and over-sized potted plants. Local businesses followed suit by revamping their store fronts in an effort to keep the vision going. Everyone has benefitted from these changes, including myself. These days I walk every chance I get.

Entering the café I find the girls seated in our usual spot. We've been meeting here the first Sunday of the month since we graduated from college. The waitress sets a frosty glass of iced tea in front of me as I plop down in my chair.

"The usual, Bella?" She asks and I nod my head. I am, after all, a creature of habit. The girls and I exchange the usual round of hugs and kisses on the cheeks and I am instantly thrown into the conversation.

"Oh my god, Bella! You'll never believe what happened after you left last night!" exclaims Jess.

"Let me guess, Emmett and Rose had virtual sex on the dance floor."

"No! I mean, well, yeah – but that's a given. What I'm talking about has nothing to do with Rose or Emmett. Guess!"

"Well, damn, girl. Spit that shit out! Don't keep me hanging."

"It would seem that our little Miss Lauren is not such a wall flower as she would like us to believe! Did you happen to notice the dark headed demi-god she befriended last night? Fuck hot, that's what! And he was all over her like glue on papier-mâché!"

"You're shitting me! Lauren?" I glance at my timid, demure, lone-wolf best friend expectantly.

Unable to look me in the eye, she mutters, "Um, yeah. I guess it's pretty much true. Maybe a little exaggerated, but true."

"And does this demi-god have a name?"

"He does. Jake, if you must know."

"Exaggerated my ass!" snorted Jess. "You had that fucker howling at the moon. Hell, if we weren't friends, I'd give you a run for your money for the chance to tap that!"

"You slept with him?" I asked in amazement.

"What? NO! I did NOT sleep with him! We danced; he bought me a couple of drinks and asked for my number. I didn't even let him give me a ride home. I took a cab."

The waitress sets our plates down and I realize how hungry I am. Taking a bite of my sandwich, I moan in delight. They make the best damn California Chicken Club sandwich, bar none!

"Oh, I bet he wanted to give you a ride!" giggled Alice. "And what a ride it would have been!"

Before I could swallow, I choked, damn near spewing the creamy basil tomato soup I had just spooned into my mouth.

"Jake's a good guy," Rose laughs. "Granted, he is one tall glass of hunkaliciousness, but underneath all that smexiness, he's pretty cool and down to earth."

"You know him?" Lauren looks at Rose quizzically.

"You bet your ass I know him. He's one of the best motorcycle men at the shop!" She coughs. "No pun intended."

We burst into laughter while Lauren stares at Rose with a blank look. "Um…I don't get it. What's so funny?"

Alice pipes up, "Motorcycle man usually refers to a man who likes, you know, driving through the back door."

All the color drains from Lauren's face as another wave of hysterical laughter surges around the table. She stares at Rose with her mouth slightly ajar, gaping like a fish out of water.

"So. What about you, Bells?" Rose deflects the lively conversation to me. "I see you and Mase hooked up last night. Do tell us about your evening, since you chose to spend the rest of it without us."

After wiping my mouth with a napkin, I give Rose the stink-eye and stick my tongue out at her.

"I, my dearest friends, did NOT hook up with Masen. At least, not in the biblical sense you are referring to. He took me riding in the sexiest car I have ever laid eyes on, hands down, and we had coffee at Sadie's. Then he took me home. And NO. He did not come inside my apartment."

The real question is, my love, DID he come?" Rose snickers while suggestively wiggling her damn eyebrows.

"What the hell? NO! He did not COME, you perv!" I scoffed. "NOT that I would tell you if he had!"

"Touché," conceded Rose. "You win for now. But I'm willing to bet I'll know when it happens and I'll manage to get the juicy bits from you. I have my ways, as you good and well know. I'd like a little more details about this car, too. You know what I say about cars and men. You can tell a lot about a man by the car he drives."

I would be a fool to underestimate the power of Rose! Damn woman is sneaky and conniving, and a hell of a lot of fun! I just smile at her and shrug noncommittally.

After lunch, and with a few minutes to spare, I decide to stop at the market and pick up some wine, fresh flowers, and a few supplies I need. Kicking the door shut behind me, I drop the bags onto the counter trying to regain circulation in my fingers. Putting my purchases away I sprint to the bathroom to brush my teeth, touching up my make-up and hair. As I spritz on perfume, there is a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath and performing one last cursory inspection in the hall mirror, I step to the door, anticipation and a severe case of nerves threatening to usurp the tiny measure of control I have left.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – I have taken MANY liberties in this chapter with my details. Please forgive me…!**

Leaning against the wall outside my door is a drop-dead gorgeous man wearing an unbuttoned olive green army jacket over a fitted, plain white t-shirt with black jeans and black military inspired lace up ankle boots. Burnished locks of russet frame his face in glorious disarray and his perfectly sculpted jaw is enhanced by a five o'clock shadow. His jacket brings out the flecks of jasper in his eyes which sparkle mischievously as he lifts the corner of his mouth in that irresistible smirk. Oh, the delicious effects that smirk has on me! I can barely wrap my head around the fact that this magnificent morsel of masculinity is here to see me. ME! Distracted, I almost miss my step and stumble, but catch myself just in time.

"I have come to accompany m'lady to an evening filled with pleasure. May I?" he asks as he extends his elbow to me. The shameless grin on his face is priceless, and I realize he noticed my misstep moments ago.

Playing up to his teasing demeanor, I smile and acquiesce. "Of course, m'lord."

After locking the door, he escorts me down to the uber sexy Vantage. I completely agree with Rose's philosophy regarding men and their cars as more than one naughty vision flits through my mind. I am super aware of his hand resting lightly against the small of my back. Always the gentleman, he makes sure I am settled in and comfortable before climbing in and easing into traffic.

To my delight the top is down allowing the sunshine to warm my skin and the wind to rifle through my hair. I pull my shades out of my purse and put them on before lifting my face up to bask in the golden rays. God, I forgot how easy it was to just be myself when I'm with him. It's like coming home after a long, difficult journey.

"You look so beautiful."

Blushing, I glance at him. It's been so long since someone paid me a sincere compliment that wasn't laden down with insinuations and strings. His words make me feel naked, exposed. They touch me in ways I haven't felt in ages.

"Thank you. You look mighty fine yourself."

"A woman as beautiful as you deserves no less than my best." His smile assures me he is teasing, although his eyes betray him.

"Well, you do clean up quite nicely, Mr. Cullen." I laugh. "Oh, before I forget to tell you, thank you for this invitation. It gave me something to look forward to all day."

"You're welcome. I assure you that the pleasure is all mine."

We pull into the parking lot at the City Pier and he raises the top before turning off the engine. I sigh, unwilling to let go of the contentment of these last few minutes.

"I thought we could check out the Marine Center first since it will close soon. Is that okay with you?" His voice belies the carefully chosen confidence of his words.

I attempt to reassure him with a sincere smile. "Sounds lovely. I'm good for whatever."

The Feiro Marine Life Center was created to promote education and conservation of our local marine life. I haven't been here since Leah was in 6th grade. The last tour of the day is just starting and we hasten to get in line. Masen takes my hand as though it was the most natural thing in the world, threading his fingers between mine. His thumb gently glides against my wrist, sending cool tingles up my arm. I don't dare look at him for fear he will see how much his gesture affects me. Feeling his strong fingers stroke against my skin makes me crave much more inappropriate touches.

Our guide is very knowledgeable about marine life and takes her time explaining our ecosystem and the habitats of each creature. There is a variety of aquariums housing sea cradles, sea slugs, pipe fish, sea anemones, sea cucumbers, sand dollars, and a diverse assortment of vibrant, variegated fish. Sea turtles, squid, and jellies are housed in larger tanks around the perimeter of the building. Touch tanks enable us to meet some of the marine life up close and personal. I find the sting rays slippery smooth and the sea stars rough and abrasive. I am fascinated by the Giant Pacific Octopus. Watching its long tentacles twist and unfurl, I am enthralled by its quiet strength; its fluidity and stealth.

I shiver involuntarily. Masen steps closer and puts his arm around me.

"Cold?" His sweet breath fans across my cheek. He runs his hands up and down my arms to warm me. If he only knew how much heat he was generating.

"Not really. Just morbidly fascinated by creatures that I hope I never run into face to face."

He grins. "I can think of much scarier things to be afraid of."

"Oh, really? Such as…?"

"I imagine that there are creatures in this world that we have never heard of, or those we have heard of and choose to believe are not real. Those creatures that come to us in the night during our darkest dreams, or should I say nightmares."

"Are you trying to scare me? Because if you are, you are succeeding!"

Laughing out loud, he pulls me tight against him. Rubbing his jaw gently against my cheek, he lowers his voice, "If I am trying to scare you, I promise it is only because I want to be your knight in shining armor. To come save you and protect you from all the evils in this world."

By the end of his speech he has turned me to face him, wrapping his arms around my waist. He's no longer laughing and his eyes mirror the desire in my own. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now. I pull away and turn just enough to keep from making a complete fool of myself while still allowing his arms to hold me. I'm not ready for him to let go.

"Ready to go?"

"Yes. Want to climb the tower?"

"Sounds good to me."

We leisurely make our way to the tower, neither of us in a hurry. Climbing the stairs, zigzagging back and forth, we finally reach the top. The deck is vacant, leaving us to enjoy the scenery in solitude. The panoramic view is unparalleled. I lean against the railing and take it all in. Looking around I can see all the way to Victoria, where we will take the ferry later this evening and have dinner. There is nothing to obstruct my view, panning from the Canadian Border to the majestic snow-capped peaks of the Olympic Mountains.

"It's breathtaking." I am mesmerized by the beauty of this land.

I feel Masen's arm brush against mine as he leans down next to me.

"Not as breathtaking as you are," he states quietly.

The deep timbre of his voice causes my pulse to quicken and a flutter low in my belly. I can feel his eyes on me.

"Masen. You don't have to say that." My voice is barely above a whisper.

"Look at me." I hear the repressed anger in his voice before I look up into eyes full of fire. "Don't accuse me of saying things just to make you feel good. I never say anything I don't mean. NEVER. Understand?"

I nod, unable to form words. I feel as though I should be afraid of his anger, but damn, I find it sexy as hell.

"Good. Don't ever forget it. If I say that you are breathtaking, then you can bank on it that you are damn good and well breathtaking. It pisses me off to no end that someone has allowed you to ever think otherwise. There isn't one woman here more beautiful than the one I'm standing next to. That is a major understatement of how I feel. If I don't accomplish anything else tonight, I vow to show you, to make you believe, how beautiful you are to me."

I stare at him speechless, the implications of his promise rolling through my mind. Unconsciously I lick my lips as I glance at his perfect mouth. Picking up on my unspoken request, Masen caresses my face with his hands and tenderly covers my lips with his own.

Waves of passion wash over me. I moan softly, turning toward him, raising my hands to weave my fingers through that dark mane I've always loved. The urgency to be closer to him is overwhelming and my fingers draw and tug tenaciously, garnering a satisfying groan from him. He brushes his tongue across my lower lip and I open up to him, allowing him to take the kiss farther, deeper. One hand glides to the back of my neck holding me securely as the other slips past my waist to grasp the fullness of my ass, pulling me flush against him. In reflex I slide one leg up, locking my foot behind his knee. His hips roll into me deliberately, his rigid need pressing deliciously against my aching center, before he releases me, taking a small step back.

"Fuck, Bella!" His voice is hoarse with emotion. "If we don't stop, we'll never make it through the rest of our date. It's all I can do not to take you right here in front of God and everyone, I need you so damn bad." He rains kisses across my cheek and down my neck stopping to slowly lick across my collar bone. My mind registers the sharp intake of breath through his nose as he rests his forehead against mine, trying to regain control. "Damn. Breathe, baby."

My mind is still swirling somewhere over the clouds and I refuse to comprehend his reasons for stopping something that feels so damn good. Fuck the rest of the date. Hell yes, that's what I want. Literally. My blood is pounding and the throbbing brought on by his exquisite assault demands relief. I lean my forehead against his shoulder and try to catch my breath. After a few minutes we are able to compose ourselves in a slight semblance of respectability. Taking my hand, he leads me gently down the steps and towards the beach.

We roam along the beach hand in hand, silently enjoying the sun and each others company. I slip my sandals off, holding them in one hand, allowing the silky wet sand to ooze between my toes. The warmth of the sun on my shoulders, the sand under my feet, and the gentle roar of the waves work in unison to quiet my inner agitation.

The heat is affecting Masen, also, so we pause as he removes his jacket, along with his shoes and socks, and rolls his pant legs up into large cuffs. I don't think I've ever appreciated the simple white t-shirt so much in my life. He is totally oblivious to the admiring glances cast his way. I make a mental note to buy him white t-shirts in bulk.

I feel his strong, gentle hand clasp mine as we continue our stroll, effectively anchoring me to him in this moment. I close my eyes and attempt to burn this space of time onto my mind so that I can take it out and cherish it later.

There is a sand sculpture contest in progress and I am amazed by the artistic creations I see. Gigantic octopus, a sea turtle with the lost city of Atlantis on its back, intricately detailed mermaids, Poseidon, Medusa, and many other mythical creatures capture my favor. Yoda, ET, King Kong, Marilyn Monroe, the Jabberwocky, and Capt. Jack Sparrow are some of the more popular sculptures. Of course, what would a sand contest be without the many architecturally elaborate sand castles? I would not relish being a judge for this contest. Each entry shows superb craftsmanship, every sculpture unique and deserving of a win.

After rinsing our feet and putting our shoes back on, we climb into the car and get in line for the ferry. Once aboard, Masen kills the engine and we make our way to the side to enjoy the salty breeze. I hear someone call out "dolphin" and turn to see a friendly porpoise playfully skipping through the waves. Masen is quick to snap a picture on his phone and I ask him to send it to me so I can save it. Before I realize what he is up to, he snaps a picture of me, too.

"Oh, my word, Masen! That's awful! You should have warned me!"

"It's not awful – it's perfect. Look. You're laughing and the wind is in your hair. Beautiful."

He leans to show me the picture before he saves it as my contact photo. Looking up, he steals a quick kiss before tucking his phone into his pocket.

"No fair," I laugh. "I need a picture of you for my phone."

"It's totally fair. I'll let you take one of me. I even promise not to complain about it."

The captain warns us that we will be docking soon, so I quickly snap a pic before we trek back to the car and buckle up. After exiting the rush of traffic, it's a short drive to Café Brio, where he has made dinner reservations. The restaurant is packed with old world charm from the bright yellow stucco exterior to the warm browns and reds of the interior. The muted lighting and soft music lends an intimate ambience to our dining experience.

Since I had never eaten here, I ask Masen to order for me. We start with a simple tossed salad and vinaigrette followed by tender cuts of steak & veal accompanied by an exquisite bottle of red wine. The delicate greens, roasted potatoes and savory mushrooms are sumptuous! Dessert is a succulent vanilla bean crème brulee served warm and topped with a drizzle of caramel sauce.

"Would you like anything else?" Masen asks, wiping his mouth with his napkin before tossing it to the side of his plate.

"I couldn't possibly stuff one more bite into my mouth if I tried. It was delicious, especially dessert. Thank you for remembering how much I love crème brulee. That was so sweet of you. I enjoyed every bite."

"I remember every detail about you, Bella. I've never liked women who pick at their food and are afraid to eat in public. That's just something else I've always loved about you. Your genuine appreciation of all the little things; I was always happier when I spent time with you."

Masen pays the waiter allowing me a moment to ruminate over his words, letting them seep into and warm my heart. He finishes and turns back to me. "Are you ready to leave?"

I'm undecided, ready to follow Masen where ever he has planned for next, yet reluctant to speed the evening along. "Yes, I think so. What's next?"

"Let's take the ferry back to the mainland. I believe there is a live band down at the City Pier tonight with a fireworks show afterwards. Sound good to you?"

"It sounds wonderful. Let's go."

The return trip passes quickly and before I know it we are pulling into the parking lot at the pier. Strains of music from the band carry across the parking lot. Grabbing a couple of blankets from the trunk, Masen guides me across the pier and we find a secluded spot in the sand next to an old piling. He spreads a blanket out on the sand, tossing the spare to the side before sitting down, resting his back against the piling. Stretching his legs out in front of him, he pats the space next to him, inviting me to sit. I set my sandals on the edge of the blanket before slouching down and reclining against him. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he pulls me closer until we are hip to hip. I bend my knees and tuck my feet underneath me. Leaning against him, I relish the closeness of our bodies, the feel of his t-shirt against me, the heady scent of pure Masen.

We sit like this, in quiet interlude, and just enjoy the music. The band plays a good mix of feisty jazz and soulful blues. Time seems to stand still and I am brought out of my reverie by an achingly familiar melody. The music casts its magic over the crowd eliciting a hush along the beach. The crash of waves provides a subtle backdrop to the chords echoing across the water. Families begin quietly gathering up their belongings in preparation to head home while couples settle down in more intimate, private spaces. Unexpectedly, Masen breaks the silence.

"Dance with me?"

I look up at him and what I see takes my breath away. In his eyes are passion and desire, and the hint of something more. He stands, offering me his hand to help me rise. He lifts me and his arms circle around me, gathering me snug against him as I lay my hands on his chest, resting my head against his shoulder as we sway back and forth to the rhythm of the music. It's easy to forget we aren't alone. It's just Masen and I, and nothing else matters. In this moment, it's as though time stands still, and I don't ever want it to end.

"Bella." I feel his voice vibrate against my cheek and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes deeply.

I lift my head. "Yes?"

"I don't know what's happening between us, but I know I don't want it to end. Can you feel this, too, or is it just me?" I want to caress the worry lines etched over his eyes.

"It's not just you. I feel it, too."

Relief floods his face. "There's not enough time tonight for me to properly show you how I feel, but promise me you'll give me time to try. I don't want to rush this, I want, need, to take it slow and careful. I don't want to scare you away."

"You could never scare me, Masen. I'm not the little girl you used to know. I'm a grown woman now and I know what I want. I want you. This. Us. I want to try. As long as it takes, I'm willing to try."

The fervency of his kiss sears my lips and sets my body on fire. It is sensual, needy and demanding all at once and I hold on tightly, not wanting it to end. I groan in frustration when he pulls away yet again.

He chuckles and for the life of me I can't find anything to laugh about. Gently he lifts my chin until he is looking directly into my eyes. I realize the music has stopped, which indicates it must be time for the fireworks show to begin.

"Sit with me for a while and let's enjoy the fireworks. We'll just take each moment one at a time and see where they lead us. Okay?"

I want to scream 'To hell with the fireworks!', but he is right. I nod as he moves to sit with his back to the piling, pulling me down to him. I nestle between his legs with my back to his chest. He wraps his arms around me and I lay my head back against his shoulder as he tenderly rubs his cheek to mine, kissing me softly in that delicate spot right below my ear.

"Comfortable?" He asks in a whisper.

"Mhm."

The show is spectacular. Vibrant bursts of color fill the sky overhead and reflect in the water below. I shiver and Masen grabs the extra blanket, wrapping it around us. His hands rest at my waist, his thumbs stroking across my belly lightly grazing the sensitive undersides of my breast. My breath catches in my throat as he slides one hand higher, alternating between compressing the fullness of my breast between his long fingers and stroking across my now taut nipple. I shift against him for friction, accidentally pushing against his hard length. His gasp is music to my ears and elicits a smug smile from me.

"Can you feel the effect you have on me?" He growls into my ear. "I've been this way almost all night because of you. It takes everything I've got not to throw you over my shoulder, take you home and ravish you."

"You're inner caveman is making a spectacle of himself, Mr. Cullen." I smirk.

"I'll show you my inner caveman just as soon as I have time to make sure you can appreciate all of his talent. And if you call me Mr. Cullen again, I swear I'll take you right here under the stars."

"Promise?"

"I promise it won't be soft, slow and sweet, if that's what you mean."

"Damn, Masen. Don't talk to me like that…I don't know how much more I can take."

"You started it when you decided to shift that delectable ass of yours against me."

I snort. "Hardly. If I remember correctly, your hand started all of this."

"Want me to stop?"

"No!" I deliberately shift against him again and his hips press toward me in reflex.

"Shit, Bella. Keep that up and I'm gonna cum in my pants."

"Mmmm." I lick my lips before pushing back again. "That sounds perfect."

In retaliation, he slides my belt off and runs one hand underneath my camisole and over the thin lace of my bra, rolling my nipple between his fingers. His other hand slides down and unbuttons my shorts, slipping underneath my panties enabling his fingers to slide across my swollen need.

"Fuck." My head rolls to the side and his tongue begins to snake along its length. "Masen, ungh. Don't stop."

"Want more?" he growls against my neck.

"Oh, god, yes. Please. More."

My legs fall to the side to allow him easier access and his fingers slip inside my hot core. I groan incoherently, arching against him as his fingers begin to play me like only he can. They slide in and out, occasionally slipping up to graze across my swollen bud. Over and over he assaults me until I am wantonly panting, my release imminent.

"Cum for me, baby. You're so fucking wet. I want to watch you cum." He whispers, effectively sending me over the edge as my orgasm crests and I grind against his fingers until it begins to ebb away. He slips his fingers from my folds, and I feel him slip his hand against his own need.

"No! I don't fucking think so!" I twist around, reaching out to stop him from giving him self pleasure. "That is all mine. I want to touch you. Let me make you cum."

He lifts his hips, pulling his pants down just enough to release his shaft. I take him in my hand and quickly pump, causing him to throw his head back and buck up against me.

"Fuck, Bella. Yes. That feels so fucking good."

I slide my thumb across his swollen head and spread his early drops of pleasure over him. It's not enough. I want to taste him. Protected by the shadow of the pier we rest against and the blanket surrounding us, I kneel and take him into my mouth, drawing out incoherent mutterings from Masen. I release him with a pop before gliding my tongue across the throbbing vein underneath his length and up over the head, swirling around and flicking the tiny slit in the center. He flinches and I go down again, enveloping him entirely, my hot, wet mouth sucking and licking him up and down, up and down. His breathing is erratic and his hips thrash against me.

"Shit. I'm gonna cum, baby. I can't stop."

I take my free hand and cup his sac, rolling him gently between my fingers, hitting his sweet spot as I suck him hard and deep, hungrily. I feel the throb at the base of his cock as he grabs my head holding me firm to him as he spills into my willing mouth. He thrusts several times until he is empty and sated.

I tenderly release him, now semi-erect, and lick him clean before making my way up to his mouth. He ravishes me with his kisses until I am breathless and panting. I never could get enough of him, always needing more. Eventually he releases me, taking a deep breath and relaxing against the pier.

"Damn. That was…well, phenomenal. Thank you. I certainly wasn't expecting that."

"The pleasure was all mine, Mr. Cullen."

We put ourselves back in respectable order and gather up the blankets, loading them back into the trunk. The ride home is easy and quiet. Once again he escorts me to my apartment. His kiss is languid and relaxed. After he leaves, I lean against the locked door with a silly smile on my face and his promise to call me tomorrow warm in my heart.


	8. Chapter 8

_I used to think maybe you love me, I know that it's true  
And I don't wanna spend all of my life just waiting for you (just waiting for you)  
Now I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day, no, no, no  
Baby I just want you back and I want you to stay_

_I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)  
I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)  
I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)  
And don't it feel good (HEY!) Alright now  
And don't it feel good (HEY!) Alright now  
All right now yeah! (HEY!)_

I lay here and listen to the music on my alarm clock, letting it wake me as the lingering wisps of my dream fade quickly away. My mind drifts back to yesterday and happy thoughts of Masen sweep away the last few tendrils of sleep. Smiling, I remember his kisses, the feel of his hands on and in me, the look on his face as I took him in my mouth, and his soft goodnight kiss. I sigh, wondering how long it'll be before I hear from him again. I stretch, kicking off the covers and startling Jack, before stumbling to the bathroom to pursue my weekday morning routine.

I lean over the sink and reach for my toothbrush, taking a good look at myself in the mirror. Ugh! I hate fluorescent lights. Puffy eyes highlight the tale-tell sign of crow's feet. Thank God Masen can't see me now! He told me I was beautiful, and I keep telling myself that over and over again. I wish I could see myself through his eyes. I run my free hand through my hair, pushing it back to tuck it behind my ear, reminding myself to schedule an appointment with Alice for a cut and color.

My eyes travel past my face, continuing their inspection. I wonder what Masen would think of my pj ensemble, which consists of an oversized black t-shirt emblazoned with '_Guns n Roses Welcome to the Jungle_' and a pair of leopard print boy shorts. Somehow, I think he might like them very much. I close my eyes trying to imagine his face and it makes me smile.

One good thing that came from my divorce was my determination to do something for me. Lord knows I never had time to think, much less do anything constructive for myself, when I was married to Asshole. It was always about him. I've spent the last two years working out on my lunch breaks and it has paid off. Taking advantage of the fitness/health center on the top floor of the building where I work, I managed to drop the thirty pounds I acquired during my marriage. Twisting sideways, I admire the fruits of my labor. Don't get me wrong, I'm not skinny by any means. I probably could lose another ten, but I'm satisfied. I think I look pretty damn good for my age, if I do say so myself. Ever read the ecard "any idiot can drive a straight line, but it takes an expert to handle curves"? My favorite! Mhm. That's me…all curves.

After completing my morning toiletries, I dress for work in black slacks, a frilly blouse and a comfortable pair of patent leather heels. Pulling my phone off the charger, I check it for any missed messages before tossing it into my bag. I feed and water Jack, grab my lunch from the fridge, lock up and take the elevator to the parking garage. In memory of my first truck, a red 1953 Chevrolet that my dad bought for me in high school, I now drive a red Toyota Tacoma 4 door 4X4 pickup truck. I like the dependability and gas mileage, plus it makes me feel sexy. Don't get me wrong – I loved my Heavy Chevy – but I so love my Foxy 'Yota now!

I stop at Big Daddy's Donut Shop (what? I work out!) and order a couple dozen donuts in a variety of flavors, making sure there is at least one Bavarian crème filled, my personal favorite, to bring to work. This always wins me brownie points with the girls. Well, sometimes it earns me the "pissy face", but usually stuffing a donut into said "pissy face" turns their frowns upside down. I know they love me.

Dropping the goodies off in the break room and tossing my lunch into the fridge, I grab a mug of coffee along with said crème filled pastry and mosey along to my office. I throw out a cheerful 'good morning' to Lauren and Jess, eliciting raised eyebrows and puzzled looks from both girls. I have quite a reputation for my Monday morning attitude, and that's not really a good thing. Let's just leave it at that. After promising them some chat time during break, I log in to my desktop and check my email, immersing myself in the daily grind of insurance.

A soft knock brings me out of my reverie.

"Hey, girl. I believe we have a lunch date. You completely bailed out on break! Are you at a stopping point?" Jess stands there with one hand on her hip and an empty coffee mug in her other hand.

"Yeah, sure. Let me finish this email and I'll be right there."

"Mk. Buzz me when you're ready and I'll head back."

Typing furiously, I complete my email and hit send. I snatch a flavor packet out of my desk drawer and stop by Lauren's desk on my way to the back of the office.

"I'm heading to take my lunch. Buzz Jess and come join us in the break room."

"Will do. Be right there." She smiles, reaching for her phone.

Buying time, I spoon my lunch onto a paper plate and pop it into the microwave before grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. I make myself comfortable, unscrewing the cap on my water and taking a large gulp. Jess and Lauren have been sitting patiently, quietly, as I pour in my flavor packet and shake the bottle. I take another swig to taste, swirling it in my mouth just to see how long I can put them off before they burst.

It takes five seconds.

"Spill it, bitch. Now." Jess has always been the subtle one. Not.

"Spill what?" I ask, sweetness and innocence dripping in my voice.

"You know what. Don't play games with us. How did things go with Masen. Deets, Bella. We want it all." Her foot is tapping ninety miles an hour against the linoleum.

"Well, you don't have to spill it all, sweetie, but we would like to know how things went." Lauren's attempt to take me off the grill is predictable, and futile.

"Speak for yourself, sweet cheeks! I want it ALL!" Jess locks her gaze on me as she lifts her mug and takes a sip.

"It's okay, Lauren. I can handle it." I smile. "I just like to piss her off!" The microwave beeps and I set the hot plate on the table, grabbing some plastic ware and a napkin.

"I'll show you pissed off if you don't start talking and stop stalling!"

I roll my eyes at her empty threat. "Fine, fine. We went on a date." I sit back down and take a bite. "It was nice. I had a lot of fun."

"Unh-unh." She shakes her head back and forth. "That's not fucking flying in my book! Where did you go? What did you do? Did you get laid? More info would be nice, heifer!"

I laugh. "Oh my god! Okay! Stop, already! We spent most of the evening at City Pier. We took a tour at the marine center, checked out the sand sculptures on the beach, then we took the ferry across and he treated me to dinner at Café Brio."

"Café Brio! I love that place. I haven't been in ages, but their rigatoni pasta and chocolate truffles are divine!" Jess and I laugh at Lauren's outburst.

"I know, right? I had the crème brulee and it was to die for!"

"So that's it?" Jess asks.

"Well, no. After we ate, we came back to the pier and sat on the beach listening to the live band and then we watched the fireworks show. It was so beautiful."

"Were there any other fireworks?" Wiggling her eyebrows, Jess smirks at me.

"We danced on the beach and cuddled up on a blanket. He made me feel special all night. And no, I did not get laid! Not exactly." I pause, praying they don't ask for more than that, and focus on moving my food around on the plate. "And, he wants to see me again. He said he wants time to try to work things out between us."

"Oh my god!" Lauren squeals, a huge grin on her face. "Bella! That's wonderful!"

"Hell, yes! You two deserve to be together! It should have been that way all along! And what do you mean, not exactly?"

I can't contain the excitement, either. I feel like a giddy school girl with her first boyfriend. "I'll never tell so don't ask! Let's just say you had to be there." I laugh before taking a deep breath. "It's just that it's been so long since I've been in a relationship, since someone wanted ME, that I don't know how to act or what to do."

"Shit, girl! That's what we're here for! What're friends for, anyway? I know oh, so many ways to take full advantage of a real good man! And I'll bet you a bottle of Malibu that I can get those details out of you!"

I smile, thankful for the friends I've got. I know I don't have many, but the one's I've got are keepers. Some are a bit loco, but keepers nonetheless.

"I'll take that bet, thank you very much! And I really appreciate the offers to help me with Masen. I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

"Anytime, sweetie. We're here for you anytime you need us. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't."

I glance at the clock and toss the remnants of my lunch into the trash. "I've gotta run, ladies, if I'm gonna squeeze in a workout. See ya'll later!"

Wandering back to my office, I pass Lauren in the hall and she has a look on her face like the cat that ate the canary.

"Heads up, girlie. Somebody got a delivery today!"

"Who? Me?" My heart beat escalates and I feel my face flush in heat.

"Mhm. And it's such a beautiful delivery, too! Go see!"

I enter my office and sitting in the center of my desk is the most gorgeous bouquet of pink, lavender and white roses I have ever laid eyes on. They are nestled with fern in a beautiful emerald green vase. I pull the card out of the tiny envelope and read "_My Beautiful Bella, Yesterday was more than I ever imagined. I look forward to your promise of tomorrow. Thank you, Masen'._

I smile and close my eyes, inhaling the delicate scent of the roses. He remembered my favorite color, emerald. It's my favorite color because it reminds me of him. His note touches me deep, all the way down to my soul, and sends tiny shivers of anticipation over my skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps.

I am yanked back from my daydreams by the chirping of my cell phone. It's a text from Masen!

'_Hope ur Monday is good as mine_.'

I hit reply. '_I doubt it_.'

'_What's the matter? Not a good day?'_

'_It's better than good thanks 2 someone special!'_

'_Wonder who that could be?'_

'_Thank U!'_

'_I take it u got my surprise?'_

'_YES! They are GORGEOUS! 3'_

'_I'm glad u like them. You deserve much more.'_

'_I love them! And the vase – u remembered my fav color!'_

'_I told u…I remember everything.'_

' _Blushing…'_

'_I love ur blush! Wish I was there to see it in person!'_

'_Me 2.'_

'_I gotta go. May I call u later?'_

'_Yes, please!'_

'_K. Bye beautiful.'_

'_Bye!'_

The rest of my day goes by in a haze and I really can't recall what accounts I worked on. At five I collect my bag, my beautiful roses, tell the girls goodbye and drive home.

Setting my flowers on the table, I change into a comfy pair of jean shorts, a Van Halen t-shirt and my well worn Vans. After a quick dinner, I take Jack for a run in the park. Sneaking Jack into the bookstore on the way home, I nab the latest James Patterson book in the Witch & Wizard series. Tonight is a perfect night to snuggle in with a good book. Taking my purchase, I slip out before anyone notices Jack, and we speedily make our way home. After a shower, I put on my comfy pj's and a pair of socks. Curling up on the couch with my book, a throw and Jack tucked up next to my feet, I wish it was Masen tucked up next to me. A girl can dream, right?


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N – So sorry for no chapter last week. Too much going on at home to deal with Fanfic. Hopefully things will calm down now that school is out and my kids all have summer jobs! It'd be real nice to hear from some of you – how do you like the story so far, etc…. I'm not sure how long this story is going to be, I'm just taking it one day at a time. Hope you all enjoy the ride.**

I awake from a dreamless sleep to the intoxicating strains of Sweet Child o' Mine. I yawn, stretching out my back and legs, and accidentally knock Jack off the couch. The music begins again and I jump with the realization that my phone is ringing. I reach for the phone and, in my haste, knock it onto the floor, causing the back to pop off and the battery to skid across the room.

"Crap! Sorry, Jack!" He glares at me before turning away disdainfully and proceeds to lick himself.

I scramble to gather the pieces up, popping the battery in and cursing at how long it takes to turn back on.

"Damn! Turn on already!" Jack cocks one eyebrow at me, evidently questioning my mental stability.

I enter in my pass code to unlock the phone and scroll to my missed calls. One missed call. Masen Cullen. My heart flip flops as I hit the send button to call him back. I pace the length of the living room, taking a couple of deep breaths trying to calm down. I don't want to sound as though I've just finished a 5K run, or worse.

"Hello?" The sound of his voice sends delicious shivers up my back.

"Hey, it's me, Bella." DUH! Nothing like stating the obvious. "I saw where you called. I went to answer the phone and accidentally dropped it." Graceful.

"No problem." He clears his throat. "I was just calling to hear your voice."

My heart thuds. "Oh. Well, what a nice thing to say. I'm glad you called. I wanted to tell you thank you for the beautiful flowers. Texting is so impersonal. I'm looking at them right now. They're gorgeous." Like you, I think but somehow fail to work up the nerve to say out loud.

"I'm glad you like them. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and thought the flowers might make your Monday more tolerable."

If only he knew how much they helped.

"They certainly did. I enjoyed this weekend. It was by far one of the nicest weekends I've had in ages."

"Me, too. I can't tell you how lucky I felt to see you at Angelo Bella's. It was like Fate was smiling on me."

I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face. "I feel the same way."

"I was serious when I said I want to see you again. If I could get over there tonight I would, but I don't think I'll be able to get back to town before the weekend. Are you free? For this weekend?"

"Hmmm. I'm not sure. Let me check my schedule." I pause, pretending to check my non-existent social calendar. "Nope. No plans for this weekend…oh, wait. Friday night is booked."

"Did you really just look to see if you were available this weekend?" I can hear the smirk in his voice.

I laugh. "What if I did?"

"If that's the case, then I would like to ask in advance for you to pencil me in for all your weekends from here on out."

I dance a little jig around Jack, happier than a pig in shit.

"And if I didn't?" As if.

"Pencil me in anyway." His tone is more earnest. "I plan on spending as much time with you as I can. I'm serious about wanting to make this work. I don't know about you, but this just feels right to me."

I can't help the excitement that sweeps across me as I listen to my very first lover tell me he wants to be with me. Still, after all this time. For real. My mind can't seem to grasp it, and I can't make my voice form words.

"Bella? Are you there?" He pauses, listening for my response. Verbal impotence. Yea, me. "Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" I can hear the underlying worry in his voice.

"I'm here." I finally manage to produce a coherent thought that I can verbalize. "It's just hard to take it all in and you, me, whatever this is, don't seem real. It's gonna take some getting used to. I never allowed myself to dream that we could ever be, so hearing you tell me you want to give us a chance is…well…kind of overwhelming. In a good way, of course." Okay, maybe coherent is not the right word. I sound more like a half-witted loon.

"I mean it, Bella. I want to find out what this is between us, to rediscover everything about you and rekindle what we once had. I crave to know the woman you have become and show you who I am now. I completely intend to monopolize as much of your time as you'll allow."

Oh, hell, yes! I am not so verbally incompetent that I can't hear the unspoken promises in that statement.

"Actually, Masen, I rechecked my calendar and this Friday night is reserved. I'm taking someone special on a picnic date under the stars."

"Really, now. Who would this someone special be? May I ask?"

"You, I hope." I start to second guess myself. What if he doesn't like my plans? Fuck it. If he doesn't like what I have in mind then he's not the man I think he is. "I'm asking if you'll let me take you on a picnic. Would you like that?"

"If it means I get to spend the evening with you, then I'd love it." The man really knows how to make a lady feel all tingly inside.

"Perfect. Be here by seven, park in one of the visitor spaces in the parking garage behind the building and I'll have everything ready. Dress comfy. We'll take my pickup. You'll understand why when we get there."

"I'm intrigued. I'll be there at seven on the dot. A mystery picnic with a beautiful woman." He groans softly. "I've had fantasies that started out like that." He is teasing me, but still, thinking about Masen and fantasies in the same sentence takes my breath away.

I decide not to comment on his last remark. "Good. Then it's settled. I'll see you Friday at seven."

"I can call you every day between now and then, right?"

Hell! He did it again. My heart is gonna explode. "Of course you may. I'd like that a lot."

"Good. It's settled then." He paused and I could hear him take a deep breath. "Oh, and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Don't make any plans for Saturday or Sunday. Ask the girls if you can bail out this one weekend. I've got a few ideas of my own for the two of us."

Fuck. I'm going to combust if this keeps up. "Um, sure. Okay," I squeak.

"Bye, Beautiful."

"Bye, Masen."

I set the phone down on the coffee table before collapsing onto the couch. I play the conversation over and over again in my mind. Yep. I'm gonna combust. I shake my arms and legs in a little air dance and squeal. Jack's right. I've lost it.

**A/N #2 – I know this chapter is short – and not a lot of romancing. I promise the next chapter will be much better. After all…Bella's taking him out on a moonlit picnic…(eyebrow wiggling going on here…)**


	10. Chapter 10

Wine glasses…check.

Chilled bottle of wine in insulated bag…check.

Chicken Salad Sandwiches…check.

Cheese cubes…check.

Fresh Fruit…check.

Whipped Cream, also in insulated bag…check.

Red Velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting…check.

It's been one of those weeks where I thought Friday would never get here, and now that it's arrived, I can't imagine where the time flew. I rummage through the kitchen for a few last minute supplies that I need to pack in my basket. Masen should be here soon and I want to be totally ready. Earlier I stowed away some extra blankets and pillows in the back seat of the truck to keep from having so much to carry when he arrives. I wanted to keep that part of the picnic a surprise, but there's just no way to hide that shit.

He has been so sweet all week, texting me every morning:

Tuesday - _It's a beautiful morning, only eclipsed by you. _

Wednesday - _Happy Wednesday! Two more days til I see you again!_

Thursday - _Morning, gorgeous! Guess who you get to see tomorrow?_

Friday - _You awake? Can't wait to see you tonight!_

But it's the phone calls every evening that I look forward to the most. The husky timbre of his voice shoots like a dart straight to my core. Every. Damn. Time. I'm amazed at how much we have to talk about. He shares stories of his adventurous military days and epic tales of his travels abroad. He regales me with heart warming memories of Ashlyn from when she was a child and voices his hopes and concerns now that she is an adult. I can clearly hear how proud he is of her, how important she is to him, how close they are. I always knew he would make a fantastic dad.

Never one to monopolize the conversation, he manages to pull out memories and details of my life since we went our separate ways. There will never be a time when I can't find something funny, loving, and memorable to share about my children. Of course, I have to reiterate how important the girls are to me, but he already knows that. I find it so easy to share with him, to speak about my dreams and my fears of the future. Each day I find more dreams and less fear as he infiltrates the murky depths of my heart. I try to minimize my doubts and insecurities, my failures and faults, and emphasize the good, the positives – but he always sees through my smoke and mirrors. He is a dose of medicine to my weary heart, mending the pieces one at a time, showing me a better perspective and a brighter outlook.

There are no awkward silences between us. Ever. Sometimes I hear the voice of the carefree boy I fell in love with so many years ago, and other times I am mesmerized by the new mysterious man I'm just getting to know. It's pretty damn hard to remember we're trying to take this slow. Or why. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up without going up in flames.

Tablecloth…check.

Napkins & plates…check.

Votives, citronella candles, matches…check.

Corkscrew…check.

IPod with specially selected playlist…check.

Lantern…check.

Wednesday night all my girls came over for greasy pizza, _yummy_, and a chick flick. During the night's conversations they discovered my plans for a picnic and immediately offered suggestions. Every detail, from what we ate, to what I wore, to what we listened to, was discussed in excruciating detail. I don't know who was more excited, them or me. Thank God for such good friends! We discussed all the "what if's" until I thought I'd die of embarrassment. And anticipation. And laughter. Of course, Rose and Jess had much more "intimate" suggestions, God bless 'em. Some of them I'll never have the nerve to attempt, but others…I can only hope and pray!

I close the basket and turn the clasp, securing the lid and set it next to the door just as my text ringtone goes off.

_I'm here. Need me to come up and help carry anything?_

_I've got it. Thanks! I'll be there in 2 minutes!_

I run my hand through my hair to make sure it's in order, check myself in the hall mirror, and grab the basket, locking the door behind me. The elevator runs slower than usual giving me too much time to get nervous. Butterflies invade my stomach and I take a couple of deep breaths to make the lightheadedness pass. Damn. I haven't felt this way about a man…well…since him.

I'm almost to the truck when I notice him leaning against the tailgate. Holy Mother of All Things Sexy, he's hot. Wearing jeans and a snug fitting teal t-shirt with Vans, he exudes casual confidence. How is he not aware of the effect he has on women? More important is the effect he is having on my panties, which were nice and dry on the elevator ride down. Not so much anymore….

He looks up as I approach the truck and I blush as his eyes travel from my head to my feet and back again. Feeling flirty, I slowly twirl around so he can inspect the whole package. His low whistle boosts my ego, making me thankful for Alice's input about tonight's attire. I'm wearing a pair of white shorts and an off the shoulder peasant blouse in an army green paisley print with mustard flats and earrings.

"Beautiful. We are going on a picnic, right?"

"We are."

"You look good enough to eat. Are you on the menu?" He cocks his eyebrow just so, tormenting me further. Saucy man.

My blush completely takes over and makes its way past my neck while the butterflies in my stomach kick it up a notch. Or ten. Or a thousand.

"You're blushing again, Bella. Did I say something inappropriate?" His smirk is unbelievably sexy and I shove the basket towards him for diversion. Inappropriate, my ass. He and I both know where my mind just went.

"Not at all. Can you set that in the truck, please?" To prove how unaffected I am by his comment I cock my own eyebrow and take my time inspecting every inch of him…slowly…I hope I pull it off. "Thanks for the compliment, Mr. Cullen. You look quite delectable yourself. However, further discussion of the menu is off limits."

I unlock the truck and open the door, stepping to the side as he sets the basket on the back seat.

"What's with all the blankets and pillows? Looks like you're planning a sleep over." I attempt to step around him and avoid his question at the same time. He turns and grabs my arm before I can walk away, pulling me close against him. He leans down and whispers in my ear, "Am I invited?" Fuck. Me. Now. His breath is minty and blows tantalizingly into my ear making my mouth water and my thighs clench together.

Putting my hands on his chest to brace myself, I take a deep breath to collect my wits, and damn if I'm not intoxicated by his scent. Clean, fresh citrus, warm sunshine and a dash of fruity sweetness. I'd recognize Aqua DiGio anywhere! Liquid Panty Remover. Shit! I want to lick him. Now.

I roll my eyes and slap at his arm trying to maintain a semblance of sanity, while every bone in my body screams to jump him right here in the parking garage. His laugh rumbles deep, causing tingly, tickly feelings across my chest. I take a breath and pray he can't feel the beat of my racing heart against my ribcage.

"There is no sleep over planned for tonight, Masen. Quit asking questions! I told you we're going on a picnic under the stars. The rest of the evening is on a need to know basis. When you need to know, I'll tell you. Okay?"

I look up at him and smile, batting my eyes playfully. He smiles back, a lazy grin, and nods his head, conceding this one time to my plea.

"Okay. For now. But I've never been good at following rules, you know that. So if I keep asking, don't get upset. That's just who I am. Now, while I have your undivided attention, it's been five whole days since I've seen you. I want to kiss you. May I?"

As if he has to ask. My panties are sopping wet and my lady bits scream "kiss me right HERE, handsome." I'm a hussy. I own it.

"Yes, please." My voice breaks as the oxygen in my lungs disappears. I hope he doesn't notice.

The moment his lips touch mine I am transported to a world where no one else exists and nothing else matters. His touch is perfection, the pads of his thumbs trace a path across my jaw, and warm lips plant soft, wet kisses on my mouth before his tongue glides across my bottom lip. Eager to taste him, I open up and take him in. Our tongues dance slow and sensual to the rhythm of our hearts.

I forgot just how thoroughly his kisses affect my body. It's like…Déjà vu.

Too soon, he plants three soft kisses across my lips and pulls away. A small groan escapes before I can regroup, and my hands tighten their grasp on his shirt causing him to chuckle.

"I believe we have a picnic to attend and you are my chauffeur tonight, sweetheart. Let's get this date started before I change my mind and take you upstairs and do all kinds of naughty things to you. I'm curious to find out if my memory is correct about just how far down that blush travels. If you don't want that to happen right now, I suggest we get in the truck and be on our way."

Thoughts of all the ways I want him to be naughty invade my mind and I have to force myself to focus on the task at hand. What were we doing? Oh, right. The picnic. A date. Slow. _Shit_. Climb into the truck. _Fuck the picnic_. Start the truck. _Take him NOW_. Pull out of the parking lot. _Shit, I'm throbbing_. My mind is foggy with lust and it takes me several minutes to regroup.

Twenty minutes later we reach our destination. Masen smiles and glances around before looking at me.

"I should have known you'd bring me here."

"You don't like it? Want to leave?"

"Hell, no! I love it. It's perfect. It's where I met you, and if memory serves me correct, I stole my first kiss from you. Anywhere that reminds me of us is fine with me."

_The summer before my senior year of high school, Jess and Alice were invited to a tail gate party by her brother Emmett and some of his friends. They begged me to go with them, and since I had no other plans, I agreed. The party was held in the field behind the landing strip to the local airport. I've always been fascinated by airplanes, so this was a plus for me. There were several vehicles parked in the field, music blaring, food and alcohol in abundance. I saw many faces I recognized from school and a few unfamiliar ones as well. Later in the evening, I went to grab a bottle of water out of one of the coolers. While I was digging around for a real cold bottle someone asked if I would mind getting one for them while I was at it. I lifted up a bottle and smiled, peering into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. He smiled lazily and offered his thanks before strolling back towards the crowd. _

_I contemplated burying my head in the ice chest to cool myself off, but opted to down the entire bottle of water in one gulp instead. My memories of the rest of the evening are limited as I spent most of my time looking for the guy with the gorgeous eyes. It was not hard to do as he seemed to be good friends with Emmett, and pretty much drifted around the perimeter of our tailgate. Much later, everyone began picking up and preparing to leave. Mr. Green Eyes walked over to me and introduced himself as Masen. He smiled and offered to pick up the trash if I would carry the bag for him. Laughing, I told him my name was Bella and would be glad to help. _

_As we walked around, he told me that he had been watching me all night and I was the prettiest girl there. I was sure it was a line he used on all the girls, but it was nice to hear anyway. Young and naïve, I thanked him and let the conversation lapse. When our bag was full, we walked back to Emmett's truck and he tossed it up into the bed. Everyone else was still busy gathering items and packing stuff away, leaving us alone by the truck for a few minutes. _

_I had never had a boyfriend and my experience in the dating department was non-existent. I didn't know how to act around guys, so I pretty much stayed close to my girlfriends when we were out and about. Being alone with Masen made me feel all jittery, but not in a bad way. He sat next to me on the edge of the tailgate and reached his hand out to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind my ear. That first touch intrinsically tied me to him for life. I stared at him in all of my glorious awkwardness, enchanted by this mystical creature that had suddenly entered my small world. He leaned towards me and softly placed a kiss on my lips and I knew right then that I belonged to him. Always._

The roar of an airplane brings me back to the present. I smile at my own recollection of that memory and the smugness in his voice. Men! "Mhm. Just checking. Now, get out and help me unload some of this stuff. Please."

He grabs the basket out of the back while I toss the blankets and pillows from the back seat into the bed of the truck.

"Where do you want me to put this?"

"Next to that big tree over there. And would you mind hanging and lighting the lantern? I think it'll hang just right on that low branch." I point in the direction I want him to go and climb into the bed of the truck to sort out the blankets, piling the pillows up against the cab.

Satisfied that the cab is comfy and cozy for stargazing later on, I slowly crawl backwards towards the tailgate. Two very large hands surround my waist and pull me off before I can turn and swing my legs down. I squeal as a jolt of adrenaline surges through me at the sensation of falling before I am slammed against a marble wall. Oh, wait. That's just his chest.

"Put me down!" I'm laughing because I'm all kinds of ticklish. Everywhere! Ridiculous, I know.

"If you insist." Masen slowly releases me, allowing me to slide down his body until my feet can touch the ground. "All better?"

"Yep." I refuse to take the bait. If we don't get started, my picnic will be ruined.

Grabbing his hand I pull him towards the basket. I shake the tablecloth out and spread it out on the ground. Patting a spot on the other side of the basket, I dictate, "Sit." I set the candles into the votives, light them and place them on the ground at the edges of the tablecloth.

Pulling out the wine and the corkscrew, I hand them to him. "Would you do the honors?"

"Yes, ma'am," he drawls in a fake, but sexy as hell, southern accent.

Taking out the wine glasses, I hold them up for him to pour the wine into. He nestles the cork back into the bottle and takes one of the glasses from me.

"I'd like to make a toast, please." I nod my approval and he continues. "To my beautiful, beautiful Bella. To a night of delicious food, sweet wine and a sky full of stars. To new beginnings, promises fulfilled, and dreams come to life."

His words spill over me like warm honey, from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. My heart pounds until I am certain he can hear each beat. I stare at him trying to memorize every second of this moment. I tip my glass towards him and lamely utter, "Ditto."

I take a sip to calm my erratic heart and proceed to set out the food. I packed everything so that no silverware would be required. We grab sandwiches and place bowls of cheese, fruit and whipped cream so that they are accessible to both of us.

"God. This is so good. Did you make the sandwiches yourself?"

"Mhm." My mouth is full, so I nod my head.

"I could get used to this." He grabs another sandwich and proceeds to annihilate it.

I just smile and wink at him before taking another bite. I grab a couple of cheese cubes and pop them into my mouth one at a time, enjoying the sharp, smoky goodness of the cheese after the savory sandwich. Taking another sip of wine, I reach for a strawberry and dip it into cream before shoving the entire thing into my mouth.

"Um, you've got some, um, some…" Masen points to my mouth, then to his, indicating where the "something" is.

I reach out my tongue and lick the side where he indicated.

"God, Bella."

"Did I get it?"

"Yes. At least, most of it. Here, let me." He sits up and leans towards me, his finger gently swiping the side of my mouth. Popping his finger into his own mouth, he proceeds to suck it clean, then smiles at me with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

I swallow. That's hot. Damn hot.

I choose a wedge of watermelon and take a bite, slurping at the juice as it drips down my chin and his eyes glaze over.

"What? What did I do this time?" I bat my eyes feigning innocence.

"I'm dying over here, Bella. You're killing me."

Rolling my eyes, I wipe my chin off with a napkin. Grinning, I raise one of the cupcakes to my lips and slowly lick the cream off before biting into it and swallowing. I swirl the tip of my tongue lightly across the icing before plunging it into the thick creamy sweetness and drawing it into my mouth.

"Mmmmm." Yes, I am wicked. I like being wicked. It's fun. I lick my lips.

Masen closes his eyes and groans before shifting to a more comfortable position.

"Are you deliberately trying to provoke me? Because if you are, it's working."

I laugh quietly before turning unrepentant eyes towards him. "Good. That serves you right for tormenting me when you knew I had to drive. Are you finished, or would you like a cupcake?" I love teasing him.

"I'm finished. Ready to clean up?" I am proud of myself that I managed to say that with a straight face.

"Yep. Let's just toss everything back into the basket and I'll put it in the cab. I think it's finally dark enough to see the stars."

We climb into the bed of the truck, now cushioned by the thick, soft comforters I nested earlier and rest our heads against the pillows. He reaches over to pull me close to him, slipping his arm beneath my head before grabbing my hand with his free one and twining his fingers with mine. The runway is busy tonight, the lights of planes circling above waiting for their turn to land or slowly fading away into the night as they make their way to far away places.

Masen takes the time to point out the various constellations and tell me the tales of each one. I lay there quietly, speaking only when asked a question, content to let the cool of the evening, the warmth of his body and the tone of his voice sooth away the cares of the past week.

I feel him roll towards me and realize he's been quiet for too long. I look up to find him staring at me.

"What?"

He shakes his head. "It's nothing, really. I'm just trying to imprint you on my mind so that I can forever remember how beautiful you are right at this moment. Is that okay?"

I smile and nod quietly, wondering if he realizes I've done the same thing to him on more than one occasion.

"You make it sound as if you won't have the chance to see me again," I tease.

"We never know what the future holds, Bella. There are some things we have no control over."

Immediately I am reminded of the loss of his wife and realize how insensitive I have been.

"I'm sorry, Masen. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it like that. I only meant to tease you a little. Forgive me, please?"

"You're forgiven, baby. You have nothing to apologize for, though. I've just learned to never take things for granted. Or people. Or opportunities."

His fingers ghost across my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear before drawing down the length of my neck. My breath catches in my throat as his eyes lock with mine. Unable to break his gaze, I reach up and trace the planes of his face with my fingers, burning him into my fingertips.

He leans into me, simultaneously drawing me closer until there is no space left between us. Lowering his head, his lips skate across my own before following the path previously traveled by his hand. Time wavers, each second stretched to the breaking point. I feel as though he is everywhere at once and yet he can't move fast enough.

His hands caress, taking in the fullness of my breast and teasing the peaks through the layers of fabric that separate us. He kisses me again, tasting and drawing from me an ache that yearns to be soothed. I roll to my back, pulling him with me before running my hands into those delicious copper strands, twisting and locking them around my fingers.

Soon there is nothing between us but scraps of lace and cotton. Deliberate and slow, he touches and tastes me in hollows and swells he discovered years ago. My back arches as he grinds against me in agonizing deliciousness.

"I want you, Masen. Now."

"Fuck, Bella. I want you, too. So damn bad. You have no fucking idea how hard it is for me to resist you."

"Then don't."

"I'm not prepared, baby. I knew this might happen, and I deliberately didn't come prepared."

I instantly freeze. "Why."

"Not for any of the crazy reasons floating around in that beautiful head of yours, that's for damn sure."

"Then tell me why. I need to know. I need to hear it."

"I told you not to make any plans for tomorrow and Sunday, right?"

I nod.

"Did you?"

I shake my head.

"Good. I want you to come home with me, Bella. Spend the weekend with me at my place. I need the weekend to show you how you deserve to be loved. I want to make long, slow, passionate love to you. I want to fall asleep with you, sated and spent. I want to wake up with you and make love all over again. I want to feed you, watch you sleep, curl up behind you, shower with you, watch mindless TV with you, and talk until the wee hours of the morning with you. And I want to make love to you again. And then I want to fuck you. Hard. And then I want to start all over."

Before he can continue, I grab his face and pull him to me, kissing him with every ounce of passion I can pour into him. I can't get enough of this man.

I come up for air and make him an offer I hope he cannot refuse.

"I agree to go home with you and spend the weekend with you, but I have a couple of conditions."

He looks at me warily. "Okay. Tell me."

"First of all, Jack has to come. I can't leave him alone for that long."

"No problem."

"Secondly, I need to let the girls know where I'll be so they don't freak out and send a search party, or worse – call my kids and tell them I'm missing."

"Fine."

"Last of all, and this is the most important condition, I want to taste you. Here. Now. Before we leave tonight."

Masen buries his head into the crook of my neck and groans. "I think I can handle that." He looks up at me. "As long as you allow me the same pleasure."


	11. Chapter 11

"That door leads to the yard if you want to let Jack out for a run. It's fenced, so he can't get into any trouble. There's a bathroom on the left side of the hall if you need it. I'm gonna go put your bags in the bedroom."

"Thanks."

Masen kisses me on the cheek before picking up my bags and heading down the hall. I set Jack down and let him sniff around for a bit before walking towards the door to the yard. I slip my shoes off and set them by the door.

"Tch, tch. C'mon Jack." I pat my hand against my leg. "Want to go outside?"

Jack wags his tail and dashes out the door ahead of me to begin his inquisitive sniffing of every tree, bush and blade of grass, leaving me standing on the patio. An outdoor kitchen, complete with mini fridge and bar, consumes the left side. Oversized furniture surrounds a gigantic fireplace on the right; scattered pillows soften the hard edges of the overly masculine décor. Ceiling fans and soft lights cast an intimate ambiance to the space. The stone floor is flanked by two low walls that serve as additional seating.

Edging the patio and centered between the two walls, the lawn slopes gently, beautifully landscaped to imitate an English garden. It feels as old as time and I envision pixies and sprites hidden in the shadows just beyond what my natural eyes can see. A stone walkway leads to a gazebo and pool at the back edge of the property. Roses, lavender and jasmine permeate the air. I take a deep breath, letting the nervousness wash away.

I hear the door open and turn to see Masen close it softly behind him. He holds out a glass of wine.

"I thought you might like to sit and relax for a while."

"Thank you." Gesturing with my hands, I ask, "You like to entertain?"

"Some. Not as much as I once did. I have the occasional business meeting-slash-dinner and I like to have my family stay here during holidays."

"That sounds nice."

Taking the glass from him, I settle onto the couch as he moves to light the fireplace. I watch as he adds more wood, lights the kindling and stokes the fire. I could watch him forever and never be bored. I observe the muscles in his arms and back flex and stretch underneath his shirt and the embers of desire flicker deep within me. Evidently the heated relief we shared earlier was merely a temporary respite.

"Comfortable?"

"Mhm."

"Need anything?"

"Just you." I smile and pat the seat next to me.

"I think that can be arranged."

Sitting down next to me, he takes a sip of his wine and sets his glass on the coffee table. Laying his arm across my shoulders, he pulls me close to him, his hand gently stroking my arm. Tucking my feet beneath me, I rest my head against his shoulder as he props his socked feet on top of the coffee table.

"I emptied a couple of drawers and put your things away. I hope you don't mind. I also set your make up and toiletries in the bathroom by the sink. I want you to feel at home while you are here, not scattered like you're just visiting. Anything you need or want, all you have to do is ask. Okay?"

I look up at him and see the care and concern on his face. He's trying so hard to make me feel welcome. It's nice being taken care of, having someone to fret over me. Reaching up, I stroke away the worry lines on his forehead.

"I don't know what to say. Thank you. I didn't expect you to rearrange things for me. I don't want to be a bother or in the way."

"You're not a bother, Bella, and you could never be in the way. I invited you here because I want to be with you and I want you to feel at home." His eyes reflect the flames from the fire. "It makes me happier than you can imagine just seeing you in my home, sharing it with you and knowing we have two whole days to be together. Just you and me."

Anticipation flashes through me and I stretch up to plant a kiss on his lips. "Me, too. I'm just afraid you're going to spoil me."

"I want to spoil you in every possible way you can imagine."

"It's going to be awfully hard going back home and fending for myself." What I don't say is how difficult it will be to leave this beautiful house and more importantly, the man sitting beside me.

"Let's worry about that when that time gets here. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy our time together."

"Sounds perfect."

I am distracted by the click of Jack's nails on the stone floor and watch as he curls up on the rug in front of the fire and quickly dozes off. We sit in comfortable silence and I gaze into the crackling fire, the heat almost lulling me to sleep. The realization of how happy I am fills me with joy and fear simultaneously. I could stay like this forever, content and complete at his side, but I don't know if I could survive if I gave him my heart and he gave it back. Guilt hits me as I comprehend what he must have gone through when I walked away. How could he ever trust me again? How could he really ever love me after what I did?

My thoughts have erased all trace of drowsiness and my agitation appears as my foot begins to bounce erratically.

"What's running around in that pretty head of yours?" Masen tucks his fingers underneath my chin and lifts my face until I am looking straight into his eyes. "And don't say 'nothing', because I know that's not true." He glances at my betraying foot as I force it to be still.

I close my eyes and sigh, knowing we need to have this talk, but dreading it at the same time.

"Bella. Talk to me. What is it?"

Looking back into the depths of those emerald pools, I brace myself and decide I need to hear some things straight from his mouth, even if I don't like it. I sit up and turn to face him.

"Why me?"

"I don't think I understand the question."

"Why do you want to be with me, Masen? After all we've been through, how awful I treated you, why? How can you get past it?"

"I don't know. I…can't explain it. I guess in my mind, and in my heart, you've always belonged to me."

"But after what I put you through! Aren't you afraid I'll walk away again?"

"Will you?"

"No, but still." Frustration threatens to bubble over inside me so I stand and walk over to the fireplace. "How can you trust me? Don't tell me it hasn't crossed your mind."

"I won't lie to you and tell you that I haven't thought about it. I have. But I believe if you hadn't felt trapped you would have chosen me. You suffered just as much as I did. I know what we shared was real. It was, is, something that only happens once in a lifetime. When you left, I thought I'd lost you forever, but I never doubted what we had. Everything else seems so trivial in comparison. Don't you feel the same way?"

"I do, but I'm scared. Scared I'll hurt you again, even unintentionally, and scared you'll realize I'm not what you thought you wanted or I won't measure up to your expectations and you'll walk away. I don't know if I'm strong enough to survive losing you. Not again."

I hear him rise from the couch and he comes to stand in front of me.

"I don't think you hurt me intentionally then, much less that you will do so again. You are strong, Bella, stronger than you realize. You have so much to offer. You were always the giver, the sacrificer, and I took what I could while I could, selfishly. I relished in it, in you. What happened was as much my fault as yours, baby." His tone is soft, but firm. His hand cups my cheek as his thumb strokes my cheek. "I should have given more, been strong enough to support you, and helped you fight back. Instead I just stepped back and watched while others tore us apart. I'm not the same man I was back then, no more than you are the same woman. I won't stand by and let anything come between us. Not now, not ever. I'll fight until there's nothing left to fight for."

I stare in awe at the beautiful fury in his eyes. He takes my face between his hands and makes me focus.

"Are you willing to take the chance, Bella? Can you leave the past in the past and help me work on what we can have right now? I need you, baby. I need us. We have wasted too many years apart. I want you and me to be on the same page and make this work. Is this what you want?"

Tears form in my eyes and I nod, unable to form words. His words are all the salve my battered heart and ego need. He wants me. No. He needs me. And I need him. I always have. Nothing else matters. Nothing.

"Thank God." Masen utters, so quietly I almost don't hear him. And then he kisses me.

His arms wrap around me pulling me tight against him and I lock my arms around his neck, holding on tight, no longer willing to let go. For the first time I find myself not only willing, but able to give myself to him. Completely. No strings attached, no holding back. And I want everything he has to offer.

I return his kiss with every ounce of passion within me. I can feel him press against me with nothing but our clothes between us, but it's not enough. Apparently he feels the same urgency because he groans, breaking our kiss with a breathless curse, and lifts me into his arms. Carrying me into the house and down the hall to his bedroom, he lays me across his bed bracing himself above me.

"Are you sure this is what you want? Because it's now or never. I can't wait any longer. I want you so fucking bad I don't think I'll be able to stop if we don't stop now."

"Yes. Oh, God, yes I want you. Don't stop."

Trailing kisses down my neck, his fingers trace down my side before cupping the fullness of my breast as his thumb brushes across my sensitive nipple. I arch my back in ecstasy and wrap my legs tightly around his waist, moaning and grinding against him shamelessly seeking any kind of friction.

"Fuuuck," he growls.

The desire in that one word uttered against the sensitive spot right below my ear just about sends me over the edge. One of the things that always fascinated me about Masen was his inability to control his dialogue during sex. You know exactly how he feels, and when it feels really good, he talks dirty. It's the most arousing, sensual experience ever.

"Mmmmm…."

Tired of the barriers between us, I tug on the hem of his shirt, trying to pull it over his head. He sits up and grabs the neck on the back of his shirt and in one swift tug, it's off and thrown to the floor. My hands are everywhere, feeling the taut skin across his defined chest, the soft bulge of his biceps, and the soft ridges down his spine. Breathing deep, I inhale the very essence of him, drawing my nose across his neck and shoulder. I pull him up to me, hungry for more. I slide the tip of my tongue around his nipple and delight in his response.

"Shit, Bella, so good." He watches me for a second before his hands begin wandering. "This has got to fucking go. Now."

He jerks my blouse off and tosses it behind him. Immediately he kisses a blazing trail between my breasts. He reaches underneath me to unclasp my bra and it follows the same path as my blouse.

Using his palm to cup my breast, he sucks it into his warm, delicious mouth, swirling his wet tongue around my peak until I think I will die from ecstasy. I fist my hands in his hair, holding him tight against me as he ministers to each nipple, each suck causing my hips to rock involuntarily against him. He teases me, looking up as the tip of his tongue slowly circles over my nipple before quickly sucking it into his mouth, causing me to gasp sharply.

My hands travel down his chest to the buttons on his jeans. Masen lifts himself off of me allowing me to undo the buttons and reach inside his boxer briefs, gently releasing his large, smooth length. I grip tightly and slide my hands up his shaft, rubbing the wet bead at the tip before sliding back down. He hisses and I smile wickedly, delighted at the control I have.

"Fuck, yes! That shit feels good. Harder, baby. Unnghhh." He groans as my hands find a rhythm with his thrusts. Turn about is fair play and I decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. I twirl my finger around the most sensitive area at the edge of the tip and reach my other hand down to gently squeeze his sack, rubbing his balls together. The moan that escapes him is animalistic, eliciting a smug smirk from me. It's not enough. I release him and push him off of me.

"Lay down. I want to taste and watch you."

Kicking off his jeans and boxers, he obediently lays back as I take him back into my hands. Like a beautiful cut of marble sculpted to perfection, his erection is an instrument that both gives and takes pleasure.

I ease down while holding his gaze and flick my tongue across the tip, teasing him, watching in amusement as he hisses and jerks back. Gripping firmly, I pull him back where I want him and suck him completely into my mouth, using my tongue to swirl against the throbbing vein that travels his length. He tastes salty and sweet all at the same time. I glance up as he throws his head back and arches towards me. I moan and begin slowly sucking him in and out of my mouth, gliding my tongue around the head of his cock on each pass. His hand reaches for my head, his fingers finding purchase in my hair as he rocks back and forth, sighing and groaning in pleasure.

I release him and reach the tip of my tongue to stroke him one last time before climbing astride him and kissing him full on the mouth. He grabs me around the waist and before I realize what happened, I am pinned beneath him as he struggles to catch his breath.

He stares straight into my eyes. "Your turn," he whispers seductively.

Desperate hands travel past my waist and over my hips. I feel every touch, every caress, as though it were magnified a thousand times. Soft, wet lips glide across my skin, teasing and torturing. His tongue sweeps around my navel and he swiftly removes my shorts. Grazing his nose across the soft, tender swell of my belly, he groans and I find it hard to breath.

"So soft. You smell so damn good."

Long, agile fingers grasp the edge of my panties, pulling them aside as his tongue begins to play me softly before picking up the tempo to match the thrust of my hips. I watch as he ministers to my hyper-sensitive bud, biting back a moan as he glances up to look at me. His smirk almost does me in. I'm in so much damn trouble and I can't find it within me to give a fuck. He slides two fingers deep inside me causing my eyes to roll back as I arch off of the bed. It's been so long since I've been pleasured and the feeling is so intense.

"Masen! Oh, God, Masen." Coherent thought abandons me as I ride waves of bone melting heat. I am floating in a sea of intense reds, blues and greens all swirling together. Aftershocks rock through me and I sit up, grabbing at him to hold still. I don't know how much more I can take without spontaneously combusting.

Breathless and panting, I am amazed at my body's reaction to his touch. Pulling my panties off, he climbs between my legs, planting soft kisses on my thighs on the way up to my chest. Reaching my mouth he kisses me deep and growls.

"That's the fucking sexiest thing I've ever seen. Damn, Bella! You're so fucking beautiful!"

"Mmmm….that was," I take a steadying breath, "incredible."

"I want you. Now." He aligns his shaft to my dripping center and slowly slides in, allowing me time to adjust to his width. I'm still sensitive and pleasure surges through me as he fills me. I feel full. Complete. Whole. Like the very first time. Pulling my knees up, he pins my legs down with his arms allowing him to penetrate deeper. I groan like a wanton hussy.

"So tight. So fucking tight and wet. Unnngghhhh…good."

Masen begins rocking gently against me, pulling almost all the way out before slowly sliding back again. Eventually he picks up the pace and I begin thrusting back to meet him halfway. His eyes are locked on mine, never wavering, just watching. I see the battle in his eyes to keep the tempo even or to feed the lust that lies just beyond.

My hands clasp behind his head, pulling him to me as I seek out that delectable mouth and begin to devour him. The hint of another orgasm is right at the edge of my consciousness and my hands drift down his back and grasp his ass, holding him close to me as he thrusts harder.

"I'm gonna cum, baby. Shit! So good!"

He moves deeper within me and the last shred of control I have slips away as I am swept along the tides of ecstasy. Masen thrusts and his body locks rigidly as his orgasm takes over. Thrusting erratically he pours himself into me and he cries out my name.

Slowly he relaxes and his weight is a welcome relief, holding me down to this world, to this time, to this moment. I gently grind against him, relishing the last few tendrils of release as his hands caress me and he buries his face into my neck, breathing shallow and fast.

Sated and calm, he slips out of me and instantly I feel the loss. I miss him already. It's as though we are two parts of a puzzle that fit beautifully together. Two halves of a whole. He rolls to my side and scoops me into his arms, laying my head on his chest and running his hand through my hair.

"You are amazing, you know that?" He whispers against my forehead. "I knew we were always so damn good together, but my memories do not do you justice. Fucking amazing."

I giggle softly. "Thank you, Mr. Cullen. You were pretty amazing your own self."

"Smart ass woman." Masen pinches my ass, eliciting a squeal from me.

"Ouch! That hurt!" I laugh, slapping playfully at his chest. "I guess that makes you a pain in the ass."

"Hmmm…."

I don't like the look he's giving me. Thoughtful…dreamy…glazed.

"I wouldn't mind trying out your ass."

"MASEN!" I can't believe the nerve of him! "I don't think so, mister! You'd better behave yourself."

"I like being naughty much more than being good and behaving. I seem to get much better results."

He pinches my nipple between his finger and his thumb and kisses me hard. I groan.

"Surely there is no way you are ready for round two so soon!" I gasp. "I need a few minutes to catch my breath."

"For the most part, I'm ready. I just need a bit to recuperate. I promise, though, that you'll be the first to know when I am recharged."

I smile and he kisses me softly one last time before laying his head back against the pillows and pulling the comforter up over us and drifting off.


End file.
